The Misadventures of the Yamis!
by Karalen the Wood Elf
Summary: Just read the title! YAOI YAOI YAOI!!! Chapter summary inside! Guarnanteed laughter....I hope....Ch. 10 up! Warning: FF.net uploads my chapters reaaaaaally slowly....
1. Yamis vs Cooking

(Um...hi?)  
  
Karalen: This is my other humor fic! This'll be kinda long, but all the more you'll laugh! At least, I hope you laugh...Some of my ideas here came from the fanfic called, "You know this is a bad idea, right?". And I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh.  
  
(blah) - Action 'blah' - Quotes  
  
///////////////////////  
  
CHAPTER 1: THE YAMIS VS. COOKING  
  
Yugi: (goes in Yami's soul room) YAAAAAMIIIIII!!!  
  
Yami: GAH! What was that for?  
  
Yugi: Oh nothing. I just wanted to see if you were still alive.  
  
Yami: .....  
  
Yugi: Oh, and I also wanted to say that I'm going to go see the Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers again.  
  
Yami: What?! Didn't you see that movie about 87 times already!?  
  
Yugi: That's right! I still need to memorize all the lines from there! I still can't remember what Legolas says to Gimli while they're running...  
  
Yami: It's 'Come Gimli'.  
  
Yugi: LIAR!!! Anyway, I'll be going. (goes out of the soul room. Yami follows. Yugi speaks as he heads towards his car) Now remember Yami, do not touch the TV, the TV remote, the VCR, the washing machine, the dryer, the dish washing machine, the sink, the stove, the microwave, the light switch, (goes on for three pages without breathing) And the stove.  
  
Yami: You already said the stove...and you got some powerful lungs Yugi!  
  
Yugi: I may be short, but I got big lungs! In order to be safe...just sit on the couch and don't move. (goes to car, fishtails out of the driveway and leaves)  
  
Yami: (twitches his finger)  
  
Yugi: (swerves back in driveway) I SAID DON'T MOVE!!! (backs out again)  
  
Yami: O_O He's good...(waits a few minutes before moving. Yugi doesn't come back. Satisfied, he heads towards the kitchen) Now..how to confess my love to my aibou without really confessing my love to him? Hm...I know! I'll make a candle light dinner for him! (he looks at the microwave and glares at it)  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
Yami: (pushes a button on the microwave)  
  
Microwave: (explodes)  
  
Yugi: (from other room. Unhuman scream) WHAT WAS THAT?!?!  
  
Yami: Um...nothing! (hides the microwave)  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
Yami: I'm going to need some...some...h-h-h-el-p. (goes to the phone) At least I can touch this...now, how do you work this thing again? (pushes some random buttons)  
  
Man on phone: Y'ello?  
  
Yami: Um...yeah...is Ryou there?  
  
Man on phone: Ay Martha! Do we gots a kid named Ryou 'ere? .... Nah. Sorry guy.  
  
Yami: I have the wrong number then. (dials more numbers)  
  
Guy on phone: What the HELL do you want?!  
  
Yami: Hello, Tomb Robber.  
  
Bakura: PHARAOH! You better have a good reason to call!  
  
Yami: I need your h-h-h-el-p.  
  
Bakura: HELP?! BWA HA HA!!! The Pharaoh can't cook!  
  
Yami: You can't either!  
  
Bakura: ......  
  
Yami: Is Ryou there?  
  
Bakura: NO! He said he had to go see some movie. Something called The Lord of the Rings: The Three Towers.  
  
Yami: It's Two Towers. And what is it with out hikaris and Lord of the Rings?  
  
Bakura: I don't know...wait a minute...we're having a FRIENDLY conversation?! NO! I won't stand for it!  
  
Yami: (stern pharaoh type voice) Help me cook.  
  
Bakura: Ok. (hangs up and heads to Yami's house. He takes out his cell- phone and dials the only number he knows) Malik?  
  
Marik: No.  
  
Bakura: Is Malik there?  
  
Marik: No. He went to see The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers again.  
  
Bakura: Jeez! Well, you need to get over to the Pharaoh's place! He actually needs our....dare I say it...help.  
  
Marik: NO WAY!  
  
Bakura: Like, yeah! So like, if you wanna see the Pharaoh in need of our help, just like, head over here!  
  
Marik: On my way! (hangs up)  
  
(Meanwhile, at the Pharaoh's house)  
  
Yami: (gets out a whole skinned Turkey) Yugi likes this stuff...(He gets out some vegetables, chocolate, and other things)  
  
Door: DING DONG!!!  
  
Yami: (jumps a foot in the air) AGH! I've got to fix that thing...  
  
Door: DING DONG!!!  
  
Yami: COMING!!! (opens it to reveal...) Marik?  
  
Marik: Yeah! Bakura said you needed our help!  
  
Yami: Damn Tomb robber...  
  
Bakura: (getting out of bushes) I heard that!  
  
Marik: ....can we come in?  
  
Yami: Oh, of course! (lets them in)  
  
Marik: So, what is this thing that you need (snicker) help (snicker) with?  
  
Yami: I was planning on making a candle light dinner for Yugi...  
  
Bakura: Awwww, does wittle Pharaoh have a cwush?  
  
Yami: (blush) Well...HEY! Since when did you get so friendly?!  
  
Bakura: ...stupid hikari...  
  
Marik: Are we going to make the dinner or not?!  
  
Yami: Oh...right.  
  
Bakura: Can't you just order take out?!  
  
Yami: No, we have to cook it!  
  
Bakura: You mean...(glances towards the kitchen fearfully) in THERE?  
  
Marik: (also looks towards kitchen fearfully) The dreaded place for all yamis to be?  
  
Yami: Yes. I am talking about...(looks at the kitchen entrance) The kitchen.  
  
Bakura: You know that we can't enter THERE! We'd die!  
  
Marik: We're already dead.  
  
Bakura: Yeah...right...I can't!  
  
Yami: I must.  
  
Bakura: No, I can't!  
  
Yami: WE must!  
  
Bakura: There has to be another way!  
  
Yami: There is no other way!  
  
Bakura: There HAS to be!  
  
Marik: Guys, stop taking lines from our show and let's conquer our fears!  
  
Yami: (gets a bag called 'Yami's fears'. He sticks a red flag in it and speaks in a Britain accent) YES! I have conquered you! MWA HA HA!!!  
  
Bakura: ...pharaoh no baka has officially lost it..  
  
Marik: Agreed.  
  
(A few minutes later. The trio fearfully enters the kitchen. They glance nervously around them.)  
  
Bakura: There it is...the dreaded...refrigerator! (hides behind Marik)  
  
Marik: And...the...TIMER!!! (hides behind Yami)  
  
Yami: Guys, we must be strong. We have to do this for Yugi!  
  
Bakura: Psh, who cares about Yugi? (starts to walk away)  
  
Marik: (gasp) Ooooooh...(glances nervously at Yami)  
  
Yami: (eyes turn pure white as he grabs Bakura's shirt) Don't. You. EVER. Say. That. Again.  
  
Bakura: EEP! Yes Pharaoh!  
  
Yami: (calms down) Now! Let's do this! (drags Bakura and Marik back in the kitchen. He goes to the stove) Hm...I think I know how to work this thing...(pushes a button. A flame burst up) GAH! (pushes button again. The flame goes off) This is going to take a really long time...  
  
MEANWHILE  
  
Yugi: (stuck in a traffic jam) Dang it! Lord of the Rings starts in ten minutes! (honks horn) Get out of my way!!! Stupid...foolish humans...(grumbles)  
  
BACK IN THE KITCHEN  
  
Yami: Ah, there we go! (gets a frying pan and puts it on the stove) I actually got it to heat up!  
  
Bakura: Yeah, after two hours!  
  
Yami: Shut up!  
  
Bakura: Make me!  
  
Yami: Sorry, I don't know the recipe.  
  
Bakura: ???  
  
Yami: Don't you get it? You said 'Make me', and I said 'I don't know how'?  
  
Bakura: ???  
  
Yami: Never mind.  
  
Marik: *coughcornyjokecough*  
  
Yami: (death glare)  
  
(A short dude with spiked black hair and red eyes comes in and slaps Yami. He then walks out mumbling something about stupid humans)  
  
Bakura: Who was that?  
  
Marik: Hiei, from the show Yu Yu Hakusho. Malik and I watch that show all the time. Apparently, you stole his glare.  
  
Yami: WHAT?! That's MY glare!  
  
Marik: No, it's not. Hiei has copyrighted rights to that glare. He could sue you.  
  
Yami: (grumbles) Fine. (he puts the turkey on the pan) There! Now to work on other things!  
  
Marik: Why can't you just have the turkey raw? The more blood, the better!  
  
Bakura: ...I will not ask.  
  
Yami: Yugi doesn't like blood.  
  
Marik: I see.  
  
Yami: Yeah.  
  
Marik: Very well then! (goes to the timer and shudders) Me and timers have bad memories...  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
Marik: (watching Malik cook. He sneaks up behind him and is about to hug him from behind when...)  
  
Timer: BEEEEEEEEP!!!!!  
  
Marik: (in shock, his hands touch..another part of Malik's body.)  
  
Malik: (jumps about a foot in the air. Unhuman scream) YAAAAMIIIIII!!! I'LL KEEEEEELL YOOOUUU!!!!!!!  
  
Marik: O______O (runs for dear life)  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
Marik: (shudders again) Hikaris are scary when they're mad...  
  
Bakura: Well, luckily for me, Ryou never gets mad! MWA HA HA!!!  
  
Marik: Then why are you so afraid of the refrigerator?  
  
Bakura: .....  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
Bakura: (sticks his head in the fridge. The fridge closes shut, trapping him in the fridge) AGH!!! STUPID THING!!!  
  
(hours later)  
  
Bakura: Stupid...*cough*...thing...*sneeze*  
  
Ryou: Tadaima (1)! ...Bakura? (goes to fridge and hears cursings and sneezings) BAKURA!!! (gets him out of the fridge)  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
Bakura: I had a cold for two weeks.  
  
Yami: ...you couldn't just push your way out?  
  
Bakura: HEY! I didn't think about it at the time, that's all!  
  
Yami: Suuuuuure.  
  
Bakura: Shut up!  
  
Yami: Make me!  
  
Bakura: I won't even say it.  
  
Yami: Spoil sport.  
  
Marik: I think kitchen appliances hate us...  
  
Bakura: What made you think that?  
  
Marik: Considering that most of them are glaring at us..  
  
(Marik is right. Most of the kitchen appliances have formed eyes and are glaring at them. Bakura turns around, but the eyes disappear by then)  
  
Bakura: Marik...you have officially gone insane.  
  
Marik: Aren't I already insane?  
  
Bakura: Oh yeaaaaaah...  
  
Yami: Just hurry up and help me cook! (chopping up vegetables lightning fast) It's almost time for the movie to be done!  
  
Bakura: Fine! (gets out some fruit and mixes them together)  
  
Marik: *sigh* (gets out some macaroni and cheese)  
  
(thrity minutes later)  
  
Yami: All right! The turkey should be done! (tries to flip the turkey out of the pan, but it ends up flying towards...Bakura.)  
  
Bakura: NO! Not my face! Not my perfect face!  
  
(Everything switches to slow motion)  
  
Bakura: NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (shields his face with his arms)  
  
Marik: BBBAAAAAAAKUUUUUURRRAAAAAA!!!! (heads towards Bakura)  
  
Yami: (holds a hand towards the turkey) SSSSSTOOOOOP!!!! III COOOOMAAAAAND YOOOOUUUUU!!!!  
  
(The Turkey keeps on going. Marik tackles Bakura, and the turkey hits him in the side. Marik screams in agony, then lands on the floor. The speed returns to normal.)  
  
Bakura: (holds Marik) NO! Marik!  
  
Marik: ...Tell Malik...*cough*...That...*cough*...I love him..(goes limp)  
  
Bakura: (drops Marik) NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (stomps to Yami) YOU!!! (slaps Yami with a leather glove) I challenge you! I shall avenge Marik's death!  
  
Yami: But I didn't do anything, Tomb Robber!  
  
Bakura: LIAR!!! (tackles Yami. The two have a brawl out)  
  
(An hour later, they hear a sniffling. Everything stops. Yami and Bakura stop punching each other. Joey stopped eating. Tristan stopped poking Joey. Tea stopped right in the middle of a friendship rant. Kaiba stopped typing on his computer and Mokuba stopped playing Duel Monsters. The birds stopped chirping, and even the wind stopped blowing. Yami and Bakura turn slowly towards the source of the sniffling. There stands Yugi, looking at what was left of the kitchen with tears in his eyes. He took a deep breath and...)  
  
Yugi: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!  
  
(The whole house shook. The kitchen is a wreck. Because of Yami and Bakura's fighting, everything was torn apart. It was a very sad sight.)  
  
Yami: (goes to Yugi) Yugi, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to...  
  
Yugi: (unhuman screech) I'M GOING TO KEEEEEELL YOU YAMIIIIII!!!  
  
Bakura: There's no time for that! Can't you see that Marik's sacrifice was in vein?!  
  
Yugi: (goes to Marik's body and kicks it)  
  
Marik: OW! YUGI! Why'd you have to go and ruin my dramatic death?!  
  
Bakura: ...you were alive the whole time?  
  
Marik: Yep.  
  
Bakura: Ok.  
  
Yugi: (unhuman screech) I'M GONNA KEEEEEELL YOU ALLLLLLLLLL!!! (chases them with a psychotic look in his eyes)  
  
Yamis: AAAAAGH!!! RUN AWAAAAAAY!!! (runs)  
  
To be continued...  
  
Karalen: Whatcha think? By the way, keell is a word that emphasizes the word kill, just in case any of you didn't know that. Eh, I made this up when I was sugar high. I got a few ideas from the hilarious fanfic, "You know this is a bad idea, right?" from Yu Yu Hakusho...GO READ IT! It's hilarious! Oh, and see that button on the left side on the bottom of your screen? Push that button and review! Oh, and I also do not own Hiei. And please, do not try and steal Hiei's glare, or you'll get sued.  
  
(1)- Tadaima means 'I'm home' 


	2. Yugi vs Rides

(Hello again)  
  
Karalen: Once again, I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh.  
  
(blah) - Action ((blah))- Me interrupting the story  
  
/////////////////////  
  
CHAPTER 2: YUGI VS. RIDES  
  
Yami: Yugi! Please forgive me for that kitchen occurrence! I promise, I'll never do it again!  
  
Yugi: (has his arms crossed and has a cute little pout) NO!  
  
Yami: Please?  
  
Yugi: (turns his head away from Yami) NO!  
  
Yami: *sigh* Fine. I know that you aren't on happy terms with me Yugi, but I also wanted to tell you that I won two tickets to Disney World...though you probably won't go with me-  
  
Yugi: (chibifies) Weawy?! (Really?!) What are we waiting for, wet's go!  
  
Yami: I thought you didn't like me anymore...  
  
Yugi: Aw, I forgive you Yami! Now, wet's go to Disney World! (his legs run as fast as they can go to the car) C'mon Yami! Weave all that can be spared! We twavel wight ((light))! ((line from Lord of the Rings))  
  
Yami: Hang on, I need to find your keys...  
  
Yugi: (hot wires the car)  
  
Yami: Of course, that'll work too! (gets in the car and starts to drive to Disney World)  
  
(1 minute later)  
  
Yugi: Are we there yet?  
  
Yami: No.  
  
Yugi: Are we there yet?  
  
Yami: No.  
  
Yugi: Are we there yet?  
  
Yami: NO! I mean...no.  
  
Yugi: I'm bowed ((bored))! I'm tiword ((tired))! I'm hungwy! Are we there yet? I hafta pee!  
  
Yami: (rubs his temples) This is gonna be a loooong ride...  
  
(2 hours later)  
  
Yami: We're here!!! Oh thank Ra, we're here!  
  
Yugi: YAAAAY!!! (runs towards the park)  
  
Yami: O_O Aibou wait! Watch out for the cars! (runs after him)  
  
Yugi: (gets in the park) YAAAAAY!!! I wanna go on this one! (goes to a ride called 'Strider's ride'. Gets in a long line for it)  
  
Yami: (catches up to Yugi) Are you sure you want to ride this?  
  
Yugi: Yep ^_^!  
  
(they get to the front of the line)  
  
Man operating the ride: Sorry kid, you're too small.  
  
Yugi: (unchibifies and glares at MOTR) What. Did. You. Say?  
  
MOTR: Um...but when you grow like that, you're at least four feet tall, so you can ride it! (lets Yugi get on)  
  
Yugi: (chibifies) YAY!  
  
Yami: (goes to the side to watch Yugi) How fast does this ride go anyway?  
  
MOTR: That guy will explain.  
  
Yugi: (on ride. He talks to the man next to him) How fast does this thing go?  
  
MNTY (Man next to Yugi): 10 miles going up-  
  
Yugi: What?! I can run faster than that! (they're at the top of the ride)  
  
Yami: Yeah!  
  
MNTY: ...and 250 miles going down.  
  
Yami: O_O  
  
Yugi: ...oh shi- (the ride goes down at 250 miles per hour)  
  
Yami: Man, that's fast...  
  
(a few minutes later. Yugi and MNTY get off the ride looking like they've been dragged though hell.)  
  
Yami: YUGI! Aibou, are you all right?  
  
Yugi: I...I...wanna wide it again! (he goes to another one, called 'Freezer's revenge')  
  
Yami: (to the MOTR as Yugi gets on the ride) How fast does this one go?  
  
MOTR: 320 miles per hour.  
  
Yami: ...Yugi, you'll need to go on this one by yourself.  
  
Yugi: Huh? But why Yami?  
  
Yami: Um...Because I'm too short!  
  
Yugi: Wha- (ride starts) How fast does this go?  
  
MNTY: 320.  
  
Yugi: .......(the ride shoots off, going from 0 to 320 mph in 2 seconds)  
  
Yami: Daaaaaaang...  
  
(A few minutes later. Yugi and MNTY is thrown off the ride)  
  
Yami: (catches Yugi) Hikari, maybe we should-  
  
Yugi: MORE!!! (runs towards another one)  
  
Yami: (sighs and follows him. Yugi gets on a ride called 'Hiei's Kokuryuha' before Yami can stop him) Let me guess. This one goes at 450 miles per hour?  
  
MOTR: Oh, don't be silly!  
  
Yami: Finally, a ride that won't torture Yugi...  
  
MOTR: This baby goes at 655 mph!  
  
Yami: HOLY CRAP YUGI'S GONNA DIE!!!!!!!  
  
Yugi: How fast does this go?  
  
MNTY: 655 mph.  
  
Yugi: HOLY SHI- (rides jets off to 500 mph. Then the track is gone, and the ride flies up and meets another track. The ride goes straight down in a fire cave at 655 mph)  
  
Yami: Man, I don't think he'll survive this...  
  
MOTR: Nonsense! There's only 7 deaths per week on the ride!  
  
Yami: Holy crap, YUGI!  
  
(a few minutes later, the cart is flung into the air. Yugi and MNTY land on the ground before Yami can catch them.)  
  
Yami: YUGI! Are you allright?  
  
Yugi: I don't feel so good Yami...(unchibifies as he runs to a trash can and looses his lunch)  
  
Yami: My poor Aibou...(hugs Yugi from behind)  
  
Yugi: YAMI!!! (the pressure of the hug causes Yugi to throw up in the trash can again)  
  
Yami: Oh...sorry...  
  
Yugi: Ugggggh....  
  
Yami: Do you want me to take you home?  
  
Yugi: (vomits again)  
  
Yami: ...I'll take that as a yes. (picks Yugi up) If you vomit on me, I'm so going to kill you.  
  
Yugi: Not to worry Yami...I swallowed the last one...  
  
Yami: (grossed out) ......  
  
(back at home)  
  
Yami: (throws Yugi on the couch) It's all right Yugi! I'm sure you'll feel better soon!  
  
Yugi: I'm not so sure Yami...Urg...Yami, I don't think I can hold it back anymore...  
  
Yami: (gets a trashcan and sets it beside Yugi) If you need to throw up, just slam dunk it in here!  
  
(1 hour later)  
  
Yami: (replaces the trash can for the fiftieth time) Jeez, what's the matter with you aibou?!  
  
Yugi: (throws up in the new trashcan)  
  
Yami: Do you want me to stay with you?  
  
Yugi: (vomits again)  
  
Yami: ...I'll take that as a yes. (pulls up a chair, then feels Yugi's forehead) Holy crap Yugi! You're burning hot! (Yami pulls his hand away, and realizes he has a second degree burn on his hand) Dayum.  
  
To be continued....  
  
Karalen: Like? Hate? Review anyway! Strider comes from Lord of the Rings, Freezer comes from Dragonball Z, and Hiei comes from Yu Yu Hakusho. I don't own any of them. Again, some of my ideas came from 'You know this is a bad idea, right?' Review, please? 


	3. Sickness and Health

(Hello again!)  
  
Karalen: My next chapter! I'm on a roll! Anyway, Yu-Gi-Oh does not belong to me. Hell, you'd know if I owned it! Yaoi would ensue and Tea would die in every episode!  
  
"Yugi: Oh my God! You killed Tea!  
  
Yami: OUR SAVIORS!!! (hugs the people that killed Tea)"  
  
Karalen: It would be like that in every episode! But unfortunately, I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, so none of this would happen. Hey! I can dream can't I? Anyway, here's the story!  
  
(blah) - Action 'blah' - names  
  
"blah" - Quotes  
  
((blah)) - Me interrupting the story  
  
/////////////////////////////  
  
CHAPTER 3: IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH  
  
Yami: Yugi...aibou...what am I going to do with you?  
  
Yugi: (vomits)  
  
Yami: Might as well get you to your room. (picks up Yugi)  
  
Yugi: NOOOOOO!!! I don't wanna be picked up!  
  
Yami: Too bad! (holds Yugi like a baby and carries him upstairs)  
  
Yugi: I've never been so humiliated in my sad and pitiful life...  
  
Yami: (throws Yugi on his bed) There! Now I need to go downstairs and think about what to do with you...  
  
Yugi: Why do you talk to yourself so much?  
  
Yami: I honestly don't know.  
  
Yugi: (vomits)  
  
Yami: ...right. I need to go now. (heads downstairs and paces) Now, what to do, what to do..WAIT! I know! (reaches towards the phone)  
  
Yugi: (from his room) DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH THAT PHONE YAMI, OR I'LL RIP YOUR PRIVATES OFF!!!!  
  
Yami: O_O Dayum, he's good! (looks at the phone) I'd rather keep my privates...  
  
Door: DING DONG!!!  
  
Yami: (jumps a foot in the air) Who in the world would come at a time like this?!  
  
Door: DING DONG!!!  
  
Yami: All right, all right! (opens door) OH DEAR GOD NO!!!!  
  
Tea: YAAAAMIIIIIII!!!! (clutches his arm) I'm just sooooooooo happy I found you! I heard Yugi was sick? Is he ok? Friends should be there for each other you know, because friendship is very valuable! Friendship is like-  
  
Yami: (stares disgustingly at Tea's drool on his arm) Shut up Tea! My poor aibou's sick, and I really need some help now!  
  
Tea: Help? OOOOOOH FUN! Help help help! I love help! I wanna help! (frowns as she thinks hard of a way to help Yugi. Three seconds later) ARRRRRGH!!! MY HEAD!!! MY BRAIN, IT HURTS!!! IT BUUUUUUURNS!!!  
  
(Tea clutches her head and rolls on the floor while screaming)  
  
Yami: .......  
  
Tea: You know, complete brain shut-downs are a lot like friendship! It-  
  
Yami: Oh ye gods, someone please help me!  
  
(Suddenly, a voice from above fills the room)  
  
VFA: I SHALL SMITE THEE!  
  
(A lighting bolt hits Tea and fries her to a pile of ashes)  
  
Yami: Thanks Anubis!  
  
VFA: NO PROBLEM!  
  
Yami: Now then, what to do, what to do...?  
  
Cloaked-figure-on-TV: Is your light sick? Is he vomiting excessively? Well give that Yugi-boy...I mean, that hikari a bottle of these! It's called, 'Vomit-go-away!'  
  
Yami: Hm? Maybe this could help my Yugi...  
  
CFOT: That's right, it can help your Yugi-boy! All you have to call is 1- 800-PEGASUSRULZ!  
  
Yami: This seems awfully fishy...  
  
CFOT: I guarantee, this offer is not fishy at all! Just call 1-800- PEGASUSRULZ!  
  
Yami: Wow, that must really work! But...I wanna keep my privates...  
  
CFOT: And if you can't get to a phone, send an email to "It's_Wine_not_Fruit_Juice!_@aol.com"!  
  
Yami: All right then! (goes to computer and goes to e-mail. He reads what he types) "HELP! My hikari is vomiting and dying! Send help immediately! -Anonymous" SEND!  
  
(Two seconds later)  
  
Door: DING DONG!!!  
  
Yami: That must be the medicine! (opens door. The CFOT is there with a bottle of 'Vomit-go-away')  
  
CFOT: (throws the bottle at Yami) There you go my good boy! And send my condolences to Yugi-boy!  
  
Yami: Um...ok...  
  
CFOT: Ciao! (runs away)  
  
Yami: (runs up to Yugi's room) Yugi! I've got some medicine! It'll make you feel better, I promise!  
  
Yugi: (looks like he's on a deathbed) Auuuuugh...  
  
Yami: Don't worry hikari! You'll be better soon! (he pops out two pills and puts them in Yugi's mouth)  
  
Yugi: EW! This tastes horrible!  
  
Yami: But it could be the only way to help you!  
  
Yugi: Fine. (he swallows them. A few minutes later, he starts shaking violently)  
  
Yami: Aibou?!  
  
Yugi: Yami...I..can't breathe...  
  
Yami: YUGI!!!  
  
Yugi: (passes out)  
  
Yami: (runs in circles around the room) MY YUGI'S GONNA DIE MY YUGI'S GONNA DIE MY YUGI'S GONNA DIE!!! NOOOOOOO!!! (throws Yugi over his shoulder and leaps out of the window) ((Just imagine all of this happening...))  
  
(A few minutes later)  
  
Yami: (bursts through the hospital doors) HELP!!! YUGI'S DYING!!!  
  
Nurse: (monotone voice) You'll have to wait, sir.  
  
Yami: (throws Yugi on a nearby stretcher) NO!!! YOU HELP HIM NOW!!!  
  
Nurse: *sigh* Fine. (gets on intercom) Attention Dr. Bluestar. Get help for this poor child.  
  
Yami: (glares at the nurse) He's not a child!  
  
Nurse: Whatever.  
  
(The doctor comes racing down the hallway)  
  
Dr. Bluestar: NURSE! Where is this poor child?! ((By the way, Dr. Bluestar's a girl))  
  
Yami: (glares at Dr. Bluestar)  
  
Nurse: (points to the stretcher Yugi's on)  
  
Yugi: (shaking violently and vomits)  
  
Dr. Bluestar: (points a finger towards the hall) To the emergency room!!! (grabs the stretcher and sprints down the hallway)  
  
Yami: (tries to keep up)  
  
Dr. Bluestar: (checks Yugi. Looks up at Yami) Did you give him anything?  
  
Yami: Well, this guy gave me a bottle of 'Vomit-go-away'.  
  
Dr. Bluestar: Can I see it?  
  
Yami: (throws it at the Doctor)  
  
Dr. Bluestar: Side affects may include shaking, vomiting, and victim death?! (rips off label) AH HA! Just as I feared! (shows the bottle to Yami) It is in reality...RAT POISON!!!  
  
Yami: ...???  
  
Dr. Bluestar: ......  
  
Yami: .......???  
  
Dr. Bluestar: .....Do you know what Rat poison is?  
  
Yami: Um...no.  
  
Dr. Bluestar: I see. Well, this boy's life is in grave danger!  
  
Yami: (GASP!) NO!  
  
Dr. Bluestar: YES! WE MUST OPERATE!!!  
  
Yami: YES MAME!!! (stands beside Dr. Bluestar)  
  
Dr. Bluestar: Um...no. You are staying outside while I operate.  
  
Yami: But I wanna help my YUUUUUGIIIIIIIII!!!  
  
Dr. Bluestar: Do not worry! I shall save your YUUUUUGIIIIIIIII from death! (starts to cut Yugi's stomach open)  
  
Yami: O_O (faints)  
  
(A few hours later)  
  
Yami: Urg...Yugi?! YUGI?! (sits up and looks around. He's on a hospital bed. Dr. Bluestar is in a chair beside him) Well?! Where's my Yugi?!  
  
Dr. Bluestar: Do not worry! Your YUUUUUGIIIIIIIII will be just fine! He'll take a while to recover, but I have once again saved another life! (strikes a triumphant pose)  
  
Yami: Would you mind telling me where his room is?  
  
Dr. Bluestar: Oh, sure! (leads Yami out of the room)  
  
(10 hours later)  
  
Dr. Bluestar: We're here!  
  
Yami: Finally! (goes in room) GAH!!!  
  
Yugi: (looks like he's been dragged through hell five times) Oh...hello Yami.  
  
Yami: YUGI!!! What did that doctor do to you?!  
  
Yugi: She saved me.  
  
Yami: Oh.  
  
Yugi: (looks at himself) Oh, this was from the 'Vomit-go-away'.  
  
Yami: I'll kill the man that did this to you...  
  
Yugi: (has a LOOK in his eye) I should kill you for giving me that stuff...  
  
Yami: Eh heh heh...but...um...(feels Yugi's forehead) Hey! At least your fever's gone, ne?  
  
Yugi: (glares) Yeah.  
  
Yami: So um...let's take you home!  
  
Yugi: Ok. (falls asleep)  
  
Yami: *sighs* This may be my only chance...(kisses Yugi on the lips. Then he picks up Yugi) Let's go home aibou...  
  
Yugi: (secretly smiling)  
  
Yami: (tries to walk out of the hospital)  
  
Nurse: Ahem!  
  
Yugi: (wakes up)  
  
Yami: (glares at nurse) Yes?  
  
Nurse: You still need to pay up.  
  
Yugi: How much?  
  
Nurse: Well, considering you had your stomach pumped, then you had tests run on you so that you wouldn't catch anything else, I'd say 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 yen.  
  
Yugi: .....(faints in Yami's arms)  
  
Yami: Good idea! (faints as well)  
  
Dr. Bluestar: They make such a nice couple! Here, I'll pay for them! (gives the nurse that much money)  
  
Nurse: Wow. You're loaded.  
  
Dr. Bluestar: I know! ^_^!  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
Karalen: Please tell me you liked that! Oh, and Dr. Bluestar belongs to me, but you can use her if you want! Just give credit to me. She's an over dramatic and over confident doctor who takes everything seriously. And please leave a review!  
  
Three guesses who the Cloaked Figure on TV is...-_-;;;...as if it isn't obvious enough...heh heh, Yami's so clueless... 


	4. Chibifying!

Karalen: It's me again! School is getting in the way, and I just got Kingdom Hearts (Riku x Sora!), so don't be surprised if I don't update every now and then. Yu-gi-oh does not belong to me...anyway, here's chapter 4!  
  
(blah)- Action ((blah))- Me interrupting the story 'blah'- Thoughts  
  
///////////////////////////  
  
CHAPTER 4: CHIBIFYING!  
  
Yami: Yugi...I have a confession to make...I, um...I don't know how to say this...AISHITERU!!!  
  
Lifesize Yugi Poster: .....  
  
Bakura: No, no, Pharaoh! That's not the way you do it! You gotta act FEARLESS! TOUGH!  
  
Yami: But it's too haaaaaard!  
  
Marik: Deal with it!  
  
Yami: ...now that I think about it, you guys didn't confess to your aibous either!  
  
Bakura: (tomato blush)  
  
Marik: (tomato blush) So what?! We..um..we just want you to do it first and get if over with!  
  
Bakura: Anyway, so how is Yugi?  
  
Yami: (small blush) Oh, he's fine. He got really sick last week, but he's feeling better now. He went to go see The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. He still can't remember the line that Legolas says to Gimli while they're running.  
  
Marik: Isn't it 'Come Gimli'?  
  
Bakura: Yeah, pretty damn sure.  
  
Yami: But I don't care...Yugi's still so cute when he's clueless...(daydreams)  
  
Marik: Ya think he's cute? Try and see Malik when he tries to do his 'innocent face'! (daydreams)  
  
Bakura: You're both wrong! When Ryou smiles, it just...I don't know...makes me feel warm...(daydreams)  
  
CHIBIFY!!!  
  
(Yami, Bakura and Marik look down at themselves. They are really small and adorable. They have become...chibis)  
  
Bakura: WHAT?!?! NOOOOOO!!! I DON'T WANNA BECOME A CHIBI!!! That's Wyou's ((Ryou's)) job!  
  
Marik: This chibi wook messes up my psychotic wook ((look))! WAAAAAAAAH!!!!  
  
Yami: I dunno, I think I wook kinda cyute as a chibi...  
  
Bakura: Nonsense! You're a Wami, You're not supposed to be cute and adorable!  
  
Yami: Oh? And what are we supposed to be?!  
  
Bakura: Hot and sexy!  
  
Marik: He's wight, you know.  
  
Yami: (adorable chibi pout) Otay.  
  
Bakura: (points a finger in the air) We must find Wyou and our hikaris!  
  
Yami: Wet's check the movie theater!  
  
Marik: Good idea! That's where our hikaris will must wikewy ((likely)) be!  
  
Bakura: (keeps his finger in the air) TO THE MOVIE THEATER!!!  
  
All: (runs chibi like out of the room)  
  
MEANWHILE  
  
Yugi: (watching Lord of the Rings) Ok, Legolas says 'Come Gimli' to Gimli! I gotta remember that!  
  
Ryou: Hey Yugi?  
  
Yugi: Hm?  
  
Ryou: Do you know where our yamis are?  
  
Yugi: At my house, why?  
  
Ryou: I just felt something weird..as if our yamis need our help or something..  
  
Yugi: *stares at Ryou*  
  
Ryou: *stares at Yugi*  
  
Yugi & Ryou: BWA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!  
  
Yugi: .....now, what was the line that Legolas says?! DOH!!!  
  
LATER  
  
Bakura: (running through the town) WYYYYYOOOUUUUU!!!! WYOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!  
  
Marik: (running through the ally) MAAAAWIIIIIIIK!!! MAAAAAAAWIIIIIIIIIK!!!  
  
Yami: (running on the rooftops) 'UUUUUUGIIIIIIII!!! 'UUUUUUGIIIIIII!!!  
  
(All of them crash into each other)  
  
Bakura: Owie! WAAAAAAH!!!  
  
Marik: NOOO!!!! We're becoming mowe and mowe chibish!  
  
Yami: We must find 'Ugi and the others!  
  
(the movie theater is right in front of them)  
  
Yami: (points to the theater) THAT WAY!!!  
  
All: (run chibilike inside. They're so small that the movie workers can't see them)  
  
Yami: (deep breath) 'UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!  
  
(His voice echoes through the hall)  
  
Bakura: Where are dey?  
  
Movie manager: Excuse me kids, but are you looking for your parents?  
  
Marik: Pawents?! They're not our paw-  
  
Yami: (puts a hand over Marik's mouth) Yes! We are! We wost our pawents....(chibi eyes tear up)  
  
Movie Manager: AWWWW!!! Well, your parents just came out a minute ago! But you know...my office is always open...(wink)  
  
Bakura: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! WYOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU!!! (runs away from the perverted movie manager)  
  
Yami & Marik: (follows Bakura)  
  
MEANWHILE  
  
Malik: Hey, did you guys hear something?  
  
Yugi: No...are you sure you're not just imagining things Malik?  
  
Malik: No, I'm not sure...  
  
Ryou: Hey look! It's the new Lord of the Rings shop!!!  
  
All 3: YAAAAAAAAAY!! (chibifies and runs in the store)  
  
LATER  
  
Bakura: (skipping) Twinkle twinkle wittle star, how I wonder what yoo are!  
  
Marik: Batura is getting mowe effected by the chibifying than I imagined!  
  
Yami: Tomb Wobber no baka.  
  
Bakura: Hey wook! A fwog!  
  
Frog: Ribbit.  
  
Bakura: Aw, cyoooote ((cute))! (hugs the frog)  
  
Frog: Quit hugging me!  
  
Bakura: YAY, it talks!!! (hugs it tighter)  
  
Frog: (eyes bulge)  
  
Marik: Batura...put the frog DOWN.  
  
Bakura: (pouts) fine. (puts it down)  
  
Yami: You can talk?  
  
Frog: Yes I can talk. I am very sophisticated with my vocabulary, unlike you three.  
  
Yami: You take that back! I am 'Ami, pharaoh of Egypt! (strikes a pose)  
  
Frog: You are not the pharaoh now.  
  
Yami: (pouts) You're wight.  
  
Marik: But...you can talk!  
  
Frog: Yeah, I can. Listen, can you take me to Yugi's house?  
  
Yami: (suspicious glare) What do you want with 'Ugi?  
  
Frog: I just need to talk to him.  
  
Bakura: Otay! (picks up the frog)  
  
Yami: (jealous glare) 'How DARE that fwog want to go to 'Ugi's house! Could it be...'Ugi and the fwog are...NO! I wefuse to accept it!'  
  
Frog: Oh, and I need a name.  
  
Bakura: Well, you wook wike a girl fwog....  
  
Yami: EW, cooties!!!  
  
Bakura: Anyway, how about...(looks at the authoresses bio) Megora.  
  
Frog (Megora): WHAT?! What kind of a name is Megora?!  
  
Bakura: (tears up and sniffs)  
  
Megora: (Sighs) Fine, fine. Just bring me to Yugi's house!  
  
Yami: (jealous glare)  
  
Marik: Am I the only one who still has his mind?!  
  
MEANWHILE  
  
Yugi: Wook Wyou! It's the ONE WING! ((the ONE RING...to RULE THEM ALL!!!))  
  
Ryou: WEAWWY ((really))?!  
  
Malik: Wet me see, wet me see!  
  
All 3: (crowds around the ONE RING) Ooooooooooh! Aaaaaaaaah! We wants it! We wants it! (all three buys one)  
  
LATER  
  
Yami: Well, here we are!  
  
Megora: Excellent! Bakura? Do you have any gasoline?  
  
Bakura: Yes.  
  
Megora: Hand it to me?  
  
Bakura: OTAY! (hands her the gasoline)  
  
Megora: Marik? Do you have a match?  
  
Marik: No. Even if I did, why would I wanna give it to you anyway?  
  
Megora: Bad baby.  
  
Bakura: I gots a match! (hands Megora a match)  
  
Megora: Good baby! (pours gasoline on the house)  
  
Yami: What you do to my aibou's house?  
  
Megora: I'm playing a game! You guys wanna play?  
  
Bakura: Sure! (pours gasoline with her)  
  
Yami: I don't know...(hangs back)  
  
Marik: No.  
  
Yami: Otay. (hangs back)  
  
Megora: You will pay, Yugi Motou. You will paaaaay!!! MWA HA HA!!!  
  
A FEW MINUTES LATER  
  
(The hikaris are still chibis. They're a few blocks from Yugi's house)  
  
Yugi: What did you get, Wyou?  
  
Ryou: I gots a poster, the ONE WING, the two video games, and other neato stuffs!  
  
Yugi: What about you, Mawik?  
  
Malik: I gots the ONE WING, bookmawks, a DVD, and twading cards!  
  
Yugi: I gots the ONE WING, all thwee books, posters, and a magazine!  
  
Ryou: Wow! Um...you guys smell something?  
  
Malik: I see some smoke!  
  
Yugi: And it's coming fwom...MY HOUSE?!?! (unchibifies and runs to the house)  
  
Ryou & Malik: (same)  
  
(They all run up to see Yugi's house on fire, with Megora and Bakura dancing around it. Yami is off to the side crying, and Marik is leaning on a tree)  
  
Yugi: My...my HOUSE!!! My cards were in there! All my things...  
  
Yami: 'Ugi! I didn't do it! Pwease don't do anything bad!  
  
Yugi: Yami? You're a chibi?  
  
Ryou: So is everyone else!  
  
Malik: Who's the frog?  
  
Megora: Yugi Motou! I've been waiting a long time for this! (points a gun at Yugi) This is my revenge!!!  
  
Yugi: (holds up his hands) Revenge? Revenge for what?!  
  
Megora: You BROKE MY LOG!!!  
  
Yugi: Broke your...what the heck are you talking about?!  
  
Megora: Don't you remember that time, three years ago?!  
  
Yugi: Three years ago...hmm...  
  
FLASHBACK- THREE YEARS AGO  
  
Yugi: (tries to drive Grandpa's truck) YEAH!!! BURN RUBBER!!! (there's a 'bump', and the truck bumps a bit) What da hell?! (jumps out of the truck while it's going at 80 miles per hour...and still going.) Oh SHIT!!! (runs after the truck)  
  
Young Megora: (nudges her broken log) *sad ribbit*  
  
Voice from Above: Do you want to have revenge on Yugi Motou?!  
  
Young Megora: Ribbit!  
  
Voice from Above: Then I shall give you powers beyond comprehension!  
  
Young Megora: Ribbit!  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
Megora: So you see Yugi, this is my REVENGE!!!  
  
Yugi: (fiddling with his ONE RING) ....huh? What was that?  
  
Megora: ARGH! You idiot! OMAE O KOROSU!!!  
  
(Suddenly, a guy with dark brown hair and cobalt eyes kicks Megora in the fire)  
  
Heero Yuy: Try to take my line huh?! Omae o korosu!!!  
  
Megora: AAAAAAGH!!! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF MEEEEE!!! (burns up in the fire)  
  
Yugi: Thanks Heero!  
  
Heero Yuy: Hn. (disappears)  
  
Yami: 'UGI! (hugs Yugi's legs) I was so worried!  
  
Yugi: How did you turn into a chibi anyway?  
  
Yami: (lets go) Um...I...  
  
Malik: Never mind! We need to change them back!  
  
Marik: You go Mawik!  
  
Bakura: WYOU!!! (glomps Ryou)  
  
Ryou: ...please, let's just hurry up and get on with this! (gets Bakura off of him)  
  
Marik: How do we change back?  
  
Yugi: Well, in order to turn chibi, you had to think good thoughts! So, in order to be unchibi, you have to think bad thoughts!  
  
Marik: Otay! This'll be easy! (thinks about killing people and ruling the world. He unchibifies in 3 seconds) YES! I have succeeded!  
  
Bakura: Well...otay. (thinks about killing Yami. He unchibifies in 1 second) I'm back!!! Hell yes!!!  
  
Yami: Otay! (thinks of killing Tea. Nothing happens) What happen?  
  
Yugi: Well...killing Tea would be a good thing...  
  
Yami: Oh. (thinks of kissing Tea. He unchibifies in 0.0000000001 seconds.) YUK!!! (whips out a tooth brush and starts to brush his teeth) Stupid...Tea...  
  
Bakura: What an evil thought pharaoh! You could've at least thought about killing Yugi or something!  
  
Yami: NEVA!!! (hugs Yugi) I'll never even think about hurting Yugi.  
  
Yugi: (blush)  
  
Malik: Well, we should go home now...  
  
Marik: Right! (grabs Malik's hand and races off)  
  
Bakura: Us too! Come on weakl-...Ryou.  
  
Ryou: (eyes shine) Y-yes Bakura! (they both walk off)  
  
Yami: (looks at the house) Well...this puts us in quite a situation, doesn't it?  
  
Yugi: (looks up at Yami sweetly) Yami?  
  
Yami: (looks down at Yugi and blushes) Yes?  
  
Yugi: (homicidal look. Unhuman screech) I'M GONNA KEEEEEEEEEEELL YOOOOOUUUU!!! ((Oh, you knew this was coming!))  
  
Yami: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! (runs) but I didn't do it Yugi!  
  
Yugi: SUUUUURE YOU DIDN'T!!! (pulls out knife)  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
Karalen: R&R please! I only got two reviews for the last chapter! (pouty face)  
  
Inashu: Review, or I'll use my brand new almighty spoon of hentai on you! SPOOOOON!!!  
  
Karalen: (sigh) She's obsessed with the thing...oh, and I do not own Heero Yuy! 


	5. Marik in Las Vegas

(Kingdom Hearts rules! Go play it!)  
  
Karalen: Hello readers! This is chapter five in my ongoing fic! Sorry, but Yami, Yugi, Ryou, and Bakura aren't in this chappy, it's just the Ishtars!  
  
Inashu: Yep! Insanity ensues!  
  
Karalen: Ay, Inashu, did you notice that Nanashi signed our review?  
  
Inashu: ...Nanashi?  
  
Karalen: Yes.  
  
Inashu: You mean THE Nanashi that gave me that almighty spoon of Hentai?  
  
Karalen: Yes.  
  
Inashu: OH SWEETNESS!!! (bows to Nanashi) THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH FOR THE SPOON! SPOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!  
  
Karalen: Inashu! Quit groveling! And anyway, I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. Now, on with the fic!  
  
(blah)- Action ((blah))- Me interrupting the story  
  
//////////////////////////  
  
CHAPTER 5: MARIK IN LAS VEGAS  
  
(At the Ishtar house)  
  
Marik: Where the heck is my hikari?!  
  
Isis: .........  
  
Marik: ....I mean Malik.  
  
Isis: OH! Sorry, I haven't seen him anywhere.  
  
Marik: (walks around the house) MALIIIIIIIIK!!! AIBOOOOUUUU!!! HIKAAARIIIIII!!!  
  
Malik: (from somewhere in the house) WHAT?!  
  
Marik: I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED YOU!!!  
  
Malik: (Unhuman screech) IF YOU TOUCHED THAT COMPUTER MARIK, I SWEAR I'LL-  
  
Marik: No, no, it's nothing like that! I just...(blush) have to confess something!  
  
Malik: (goes in the room. Still with the screech, he points at Marik) CONFESS THEN! CONFESS THAT YOU TOUCHED MY PRIZED POSSESSIO-  
  
Marik: NO! That's not what I'm saying! I just need to say that I lo-  
  
Malik: (Still with the screech, but it gets worse) AND JUST BECAUSE I LOOOOOOVE YOOOOUUUU DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T HUUUUUUURT YOOOOOOUUUUUU!!!  
  
Marik: ........you what?  
  
Malik: (normal voice) Duh, I said that just because I love you, doesn't mean I can't hurt you.  
  
Marik: You...you..  
  
Malik: What are you so surprised about? I mean, I may look weak, but I can beat you up! I do have hikari powers, you know! (admires his nails)  
  
Marik: No...not what I meant...  
  
Malik: Oh, the I love you part? Isn't it obvious? I've been giving hints all this time!  
  
Marik: Well...actually...I love you too...  
  
Malik: (chibifies) WEAWWY?!  
  
Marik: (smiles down at Chibi Malik) Really.  
  
Malik: (hugs Marik) I WOVE YOU MAWIK!  
  
Marik: (hugs back) As do I hikari, as do I.  
  
(Malik unchibifies in Marik's arms. They both look at each other for a long time. They start to lean in...)  
  
Isis: (crashes in the room) LITTLE BROTHER!!!!!!!  
  
Malik: GAH! (jumps out of Marik's arms) ISIS!!!  
  
Isis: Awwwwww, you guys having a fluffy time? Sorry! Anyway, you got mail little bro!  
  
Malik: (takes the mail) And knock gently next time!  
  
Isis: Sir, yes sir! (walks out of the room)  
  
Marik: What is it?  
  
Malik: (takes out the mail) Meh, I just won two tickets to Las Vegas.  
  
Marik: Won tickets to where?  
  
Malik: Wait...(rereads it) MARIK!!!!! I JUST WON TWO TICKETS TO LAS VEGAS!!!!! (chibifies and does the happy dance)  
  
Marik: Well, considering the way you're dancing, I'd say that was a very bad thing..(about to burn the tickets)  
  
Malik: (unchibifies. Slow motion mode) NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (smacks Marik's arm down just in time. Normal mode) YAAAAMIIIIII!! Don't burn those! These are tickets to gambling goodness! (Braveheart scream) THESE are tickets to FREEEEEEEDOOOOOOOM!!!  
  
Marik: ....(feels Malik's forehead) Nope. No fever....  
  
Malik: (takes Marik's hand and does another Braveheart scream) FREEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!! (runs out the door to the car)  
  
(One hour later)  
  
Malik: (driving down the road, singing with tears in his eyes) Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you...  
  
Marik: (also singing with tears in his eyes) That is how I know you, go on...  
  
(one minute later)  
  
Malik: Near...far...where eeeever you are...  
  
Marik: I believe that the heart does go on...  
  
Malik: Ooooonce mooooore you ooooopen the door...  
  
Marik: And you're heeeeere in my heart and...my heart will go on and on...  
  
(two minutes later)  
  
Malik: (lets go of the wheel and dramatically hugs himself) Yooouuu're heeeere, there's noooothing I fear! And I knoooow that my heart will go on!  
  
Marik: (closing his eyes and clasping his hands) Weeeee'll staaaaay, foreeeever this way, you are safe in my heart and...  
  
Both: My heart will go on and oooooooon! ((Can you imagine them singing this?))  
  
Semi-truck: HONK HONK!!! (heading straight towards them)  
  
Malik: GAH! (drives out of the way before a head on collision is caused.)  
  
Marik: Nice going, Malik!  
  
Malik: Hey, you were the one who wanted to listen to the song anyway! I just got into it, that's all!  
  
Marik: ......  
  
Malik: Ah, there's the plane! (jumps out of car) Leave all that can be spared! We travel light! ((same line from Lord of the Rings)) (runs inside)  
  
Marik: Eh...ok...(leaves all their bags in the car and runs after Malik)  
  
(At the airport, 30 hours later)  
  
Malik: Grr!!! Where is our plane to FREEEEEEEDOOOOOOOM?!?! ((from now on, everytime he yells this, it'll be Braveheart style.)  
  
Marik: Maybe it crashed.  
  
Malik: NOOOOOOO!!! That can't happen! (falls to the ground and twitches)  
  
Dr. Bluestar: (runs in the airport) OH MY GOSH! This poor fellow is having a seizure!! (starts to work on Malik)  
  
Marik: (GASP) But why would Malik do that?!  
  
Dr. Bluestar: I think it's from shock...(points at Marik) YOU!!! (stands up) Did you tell him anything?!  
  
Marik: Um...(takes a step back) I did tell him that our plane might've crashed...  
  
Dr. Bluestar: Ah, so THERE'S OUR ANSWER!!! This Malik had been so in shock about not going on the plane that he's having a seizure!!! Fear not young man, I shall SAVE THIS MALIK!!! (starts to work on Malik)  
  
Marik: O_O (walks away)  
  
(A few hours later)  
  
Plane manager: Flight 404 to Las Vegas is here.  
  
Dr. Bluestar: Oh, that's me! (throws an unconcious Malik over her shoulder and starts to run towards the plane)  
  
Maik: Wait a minute...you're on the plane too?  
  
Dr. Bluestar: Of course! A doctor needs a break every now and then!  
  
Marik: Yeah, I guess...HEY! Get your hand off my koi's butt! ((You know, when you carry someone by throwing them over your shoulder, that's where your hand will most likely be...damn that Hercules...(1))  
  
Dr. Bluestar: Oh, sorry! (throws Malik at Marik)  
  
Marik: (gets knocked back) Jeez Malik, you need to loose some weight...  
  
Malik: X_____X  
  
Dr. Bluestar: Let's get on our plane! Then I could work on your koi more! (runs to the plane)  
  
Marik: (sighs and follows her)  
  
(On the plane. Malik is back to normal now)  
  
Dr. Bluestar: (to the elderly man beside her)You know, I once saved this boy named YUUUUUGIIIIIIIII from death! He was poisoned by this mysterious cloaked figure, and his lover was trying to help him, but fortunately, I came into the scene...(goes on and on)  
  
Elderly man: (kills himself from boredom) (2)  
  
(In second class)  
  
Malik: Oh God yes...Marik...a little lower..AGH, YES! More! Harder, HARDER!!!  
  
Marik: For goodness sakes Malik, it's just a foot massage! (massaging Malik's feet)  
  
Malik: (exhausted) Phew...what a work out...I'll repay you someday...(3)  
  
((Now, what were you guys thinking? Heh, you pervs! ~_^))  
  
Marik: (sees big flashing lights outside the window) Hey, what's that?  
  
Malik: (looks) *GASP* It's FREEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOM!!!  
  
Dr. Bluestar: (sits beside them) You mean Las Vegas, right?  
  
Marik: Yeah...hey, where were you anyway?  
  
Dr. Bluestar: I had to save an elderly man in first class. Tried to commit suicide for some unknown reason. Luckily, I have once again saved another life! (strikes a triumphant pose)  
  
Airplane: (lands)  
  
Dr. Bluestar: (is thrown to the ground) AGH! They could've warned us first! Hundreds of people could've died!  
  
Malik & Marik: -_-;;;  
  
(In Las Vegas)  
  
Malik: Look at all these Casinos! Do you have the money Marik?  
  
Marik: Um.....  
  
Malik: Well, do you?  
  
Marik: Well...you told me to leave all the could be spared, and since I don't know what Casinos are...  
  
Malik: (unhuman screech) YOU MEAN YOU LEFT IT BEHIIIIIIIND?!!!?  
  
Marik: ...yes.  
  
Dr. Bluestar: Not to worry! (gives Malik 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 yen)  
  
Malik: WAI! I'm rich!!!! (chibifies)  
  
Marik: Thanks.  
  
Dr. Bluestar: No problem! I'm glad to help ^_^! Now if you'll excuse me, I must go to some par-tays! (whips out some sun-glasses and heads off)  
  
Malik: Let's go Marik! (runs off to a random Casino)  
  
Marik: (runs to a nearby antique shop) Ooooooooh, shiny...  
  
(A few hours later)  
  
Malik: WHAT?!?! I lost again!? CURSED MACHIIIIIINE!!! (is kicked out of yet another Casino as it crumbles to the ground) OI! It isn't my fault that I can't control my temper! Right Marik? ...Marik? (looks behind him to see nothing) ...dammit.  
  
(at the shop)  
  
Marik: Shiiiiiiiiny...  
  
Manager: AY! You gonna buy that thang or not?  
  
Marik: Shiiiiiiiiiiiiny...  
  
Manager: We're about to close this place! Then it turns into the club. You gonna stay?  
  
Marik: Shiiiiiiiiinyyyyyyyy...  
  
Manager: Guess so. All right peoples! Club time! (the store immediately switches to a night club, complete with people dancing and drinking.) Yeah, it's a beauty, huh kid? ...kid?  
  
Marik: (hanging on the disco ball) Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinyyyyyyyyyyyy...  
  
Manager: (watches as the disco ball slowly moves Marik in circles) ...idiot...Hey kid! Today's the New Years par-tay! You need to come if you wanna celebrate it! ....ai, screw it. (fills up a beer and hands it to a custormer)  
  
(A few hours later)  
  
Malik: MARIK!!! MAAAAARIIIIIIIK!!! (running through the city) Where the hell is he?! MARIK!? Maybe...maybe he got kidnapped!  
  
Dr. Bluestar: (runs up beside him) KIDNAPPED?!  
  
Malik: GAH! Why do you always do that?!  
  
Dr. Bluestar: What? Pop up out of nowhere?  
  
Malik: Exactly!  
  
Dr. Bluestar: We cannot worry about that now! What we really need to worry about is...  
  
Malik: Yes? (leans in)  
  
Dr. Bluestar: WHO KIDNAPPED MARIK AND WHY?!?!  
  
Malik: (blown back) GAH!  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
Karalen: Sorry it's so short...anyway, R&R please! Will Malik and Dr. Bluestar be able to save the 'kidnapped' Marik?  
  
Inashu: Will Marik ever keep his eyes off of the disco ball?  
  
Karalen: Will they ever return? Find out in Chapter 6, 'Malik to the Rescue!'  
  
(1)- Have you noticed that in Kingdom Hearts, right before you fight Cerebus in the coliseum level, when Hercules saves Cloud...he's got his hand on Cloud's butt?! Yeah yeah, I know that that's the only way you can hold a person on your shoulder, but still...lucky Herc...  
  
(2)- Got this from one of my fave movies, 'Airplane'.  
  
(3)- And I got this from the original yaoi comic, 'Boy meets Boy'. Very cute comic, a must read! 


	6. Malik to the Rescue!

Karalen: Why does FF.net always take sooooooo freakin' LONG to update my chapters?! Yeesh...anyway, I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, or Orlando Bloom (Though I reeeeeeally wish I did!). Now, on to the story, and pleeeeeeeeaaaaaase R&R!!!  
  
(blah)- Action ((blah))- Me interrupting the story  
  
////////////////////////////  
  
CHAPTER 6: MALIK TO THE RESCUE!  
  
Manager: Hey kid, look there! There's a hot lady dancing to music!  
  
Marik: (looks away for a second) What? (looks back at disco ball) Ooooooooh...  
  
Manager: That kid is hopeless...  
  
(Meanwhile)  
  
Dr. Bluestar: We must find Marik!  
  
Malik: (inching away) Um...yeah, I guess you're right...  
  
Dr. Bluestar: (pulls Malik back to her side) And you shall help me!!!  
  
Malik: Eh heh heh...yeaaaaaah...  
  
Dr. Bluestar: (looks deep in Malik's eyes) OH MY GOSH!!! (tackles Malik and holds his eyes open)  
  
Malik: GAH!!! RAPE!!! AAHHHHHHH!!!  
  
Dr. Bluestar: (takes out a dropper and puts three drops in each of Malik's eyes. Then gets off of him)  
  
Malik: (blinking his eyes) What did you do?!  
  
Dr. Bluestar: You'll see.  
  
(A few minutes later)  
  
Dr. Bluestar: (looks deep in Malik's eyes again) There! You're all better now!  
  
Malik: What do you mean?  
  
Dr. Bluestar: I dilated you pupils! Now you look normal! Best of all, it's permanent!  
  
(five miles from the city)  
  
Malik's voice: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?  
  
(back in city)  
  
Malik: How could you do that?!?! THOSE EYES WERE MY PRIDE AND JOY!!! (Unhuman screech) DO YOU REALIIIIIIZE WHAT YOU'VE DOOOOOONE?!?!!?  
  
Dr. Bluestar: No.  
  
Malik: I'M GONNA KEEEEEEEEEELL YOOOOOUUUUUU!!!  
  
Dr. Bluestar: Calm down! We need to find Marik!  
  
Malik: (calms down) Yes, you're right. (Unhuman screech) BUT I'LL KEEEEEEEEELL YOOOUUUU LATER!!!  
  
Dr. Bluestar: Fine. (walks off to find Marik)  
  
Malik: (grumbles as he follows Dr. Bluestar)  
  
(Meanwhile)  
  
Manager: Look kid! There's THREE hot women up there, THREE!!  
  
Marik: (looks away from disco ball) What? (looks back at disco ball) Ooooooooooh...  
  
Manager: -_-  
  
(A few hours later)  
  
Malik: (has bajillions of demons around him. He's wearing a kilt and has a sword that's as big as him. He has a Scottish accent) All right demons! Are ye ready?  
  
Demons: (also has on kilts and swords as big as them) Ay ay!  
  
Malik: We're going to save Marik, my yami, my love! Are ye with me!?  
  
Demons: Yeah!  
  
Malik: Our lives may be destroyed! Are ye still with me!?  
  
Demons: ...well...  
  
Malik: -_- (drops the accent) You're dead anyway.  
  
Demons: Oh yeaaaaaaah...  
  
Malik: (Scottish Accent) ONWARD MY FRIENDS!!! TO VICTORY!!!!  
  
Demons: YEAAAAAH!!! (runs through Las Vegas, killing anyone who gets in their way)  
  
Dr. Bluestar: This can't be good for the hospitals...(reluctantly starts to follow when...) OH MY GOSH!!! IS THAT ORLANDO BLOOM?!?! (sprints after him)  
  
Orlando Bloom: EEP! (runs)  
  
Dr. Bluestar: Come back here honey! (runs at the speed of light after him)  
  
Orlando Bloom: O___________O  
  
(Later)  
  
Manager: Hey kid! There's bajillions of demons and a guy that looks a lot like you out there killin' people! Wanna see?  
  
Marik: Huh? (back to ball) Ooooooooooooh...  
  
Manager: Ah, New Years is comin'! Get down here if ya wanna celebrate it!  
  
Marik: What? (back to ball) Oooooooooooooh...  
  
Manager: 10!  
  
Marik: 9 shiiiiiiny spots...  
  
Malik: That's 8 down!  
  
Orlando Bloom: You gave me 7 kisses already, stop it!  
  
Dr. Bluestar: But I wanna give you 6 more, and maybe more than that!  
  
Demons: Only 5 people left in the city! MWA HA HA!!!  
  
Dr. Bluestar: And here's 4 more kisses!  
  
Orlando Bloom: I wish my 3 friends were here....T-T(1)  
  
Malik: Club Number 2! That must be holding Marik!  
  
Manager: 1! Happy New Year! (gets out a club hat and blows a horn) Ai, screw it. (puts hat and horn away and looks bored)  
  
(Suddenly, the door bursts open, and there stands Malik with bajillions of demons behind him!)  
  
Malik: (Scottish accent) Let go o' my lova!!!  
  
Marik: Malik? (back to ball) Ooooooooooh...  
  
Malik: (watches as the ball slowly rotates Marik) .........(to manager) Let me guess? You didn't kidnap him?  
  
Manager: No! He just ran in here and started staring at shiny things!  
  
Malik: I figured that. He reaaaaaaally likes shiny things.  
  
Manager: I can see that. Ay! Ya'll wanna celebrate the New Years?  
  
Malik: Sure! (him and the demons run the bar)  
  
(Many hours later)  
  
Malik: (swerving on the road, singing) Vivaaaaaaaaaaa Las Vegas! Viiiiivaaaaaaaaaaa Las Vegas!!!  
  
Marik: ((Someone got him off the ball)) Um...Malik...maybe I should drive...  
  
Malik: (drives the car in circles) No way Yaaaaaaaamiiiiiiii!!! I'm gonna drrrriiiiive!!!  
  
Marik: (throws Malik in the passenger seat as he gets in the drivers seat) No way! We'll die if you drive!  
  
Malik: (whimper)  
  
Marik: ...ARGH! How do you drive this thing?!? (the car skids off the road)  
  
Malik: (drunkenness wears off) AGH! YAMI! (grabs the wheel and swerves back on the road)  
  
Marik: It's not my fault we had no cars in Egypt!  
  
Malik: (hears a police siren behind him) Crap! (puts the pedal to the metal)  
  
Marik: MALIK!!! What are you DOING?!  
  
Malik: Running from the cops, duh!  
  
Marik: But you CAN'T!!! You've seen those cop shows! No matter what, they ALWAYS catch the runner!  
  
Malik: Well, they won't be able to catch THIS runner! (drives off into the sunset)  
  
(At the hospital)  
  
Marik: Great, just GREAT!!! We suffer second and first degree burns from that accursed sun, and the cops STILL catch us! Thanks a lot Malik!  
  
Malik: But Maaaaariiiiiiik...(inches closer to him) If it wasn't for me, we wouldn't have gone to Las Vegas!  
  
Marik: (inches away from him) Yeah, and everyone found out about my weakness!  
  
Malik: (inches closer) But me and the demons killed all the people there!  
  
Marik: (inches away) Except for the manger, the people there, and all the demons.  
  
Malik: (inches closer) But kooooiiii...  
  
Marik: (tries to inch away, but ends up falling off the hospital bed ((Yeah, they're on the same bed.))) AGH! My burn...  
  
Malik: (gets next to Malik) Are you ok?!  
  
Marik: Course I'm not ok!  
  
Malik: Let me kiss it and make it better...(starts putting butterfly kisses on Marik)  
  
Marik: (shudders) Uhn...(eyes snap open as he looks behind Malik) HEY! What're you doing here?!  
  
Dr. Bluestar: (smiles) I'm your doctor! You two look so cute together! (starts to take pictures of them)  
  
Marik: (blushes) Um...Malik...  
  
Malik: Let her take as many pictures as she wants...  
  
Marik: (smiles softly and tries to lean to Malik's lips when...)  
  
(The window crashes open)  
  
Marik and Malik: What the-!?  
  
Yugi and Yami: Hello boys!  
  
Marik and Malik: GAH! WHAT?!?  
  
Ryou and Bakura: (comes through the door) Hey guys!  
  
Marik and Malik: O_O  
  
Rest of gang: (walks in through a wall) Hello!  
  
Dr. Bluestar: You see, they were all really worried for you, so I invited them here! Sorry if I ruined your fluffy moment...  
  
Marik and Malik: (clings to each other and sobs) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
Karalen: Phew, sssstupid school! Making me take all my time away from my fic!  
  
Inashu: Aw, don't worry about it!  
  
Karalen: I do not own Braveheart. Anyway, will Marik and Malik ever have a fluffy moment?  
  
Inashu: With my help, they will! Malik!  
  
Malik: (walks in) What?!  
  
Inashu: (waves the Almighty Spoon of Hentai in front of him)  
  
Malik: O_O (goes in a trance)  
  
Inashu: Marik!  
  
Marik: Yeah, what do YOU want?!  
  
Inashu: (waves the Almighty Spoon of Hentai in front of him)  
  
Malik and Marik: (jumps into a passionate embrace)  
  
Karalen: O_O Inashu!  
  
Inashu: Whoops, my bad! ^_^  
  
Karalen: Anyway, R&R please, viewers!  
  
Malik: (groan) Marik...  
  
Malik: (moan) Malik...  
  
Karalen: Um...we'd better get away before hentai ensues....anyway, in the next chapter, Ryou goes insane! Look out for the next chappie, 'Ryou vs. Bakura'! (hears the noises that Malik and Marik make and blushes heavily) C'mon Inashu! (leaves)  
  
Inashu: Ooooooooh, yaoi hentaaaaaaiiiii...((Now you know Inashu's weakness!))  
  
(1)- By 'three friends', I'm talking about Elijah Wood, Dominic Monaghan, and Billy Boyd. In every picture I see, they're always together! 


	7. Ryou vs Bakura

Karalen: Here it is, the chapter where Ryou goes INSAAAAANE!!! Heh heh, Inashu and I had fun with this one! She gave me the whole 'Spin the Bottle' idea! Sorry, she's a sap for Ryou x Yugi...Anyway, insanity ahead! I looooooove the reviews, but I want more! Anyway, I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. On to the story!  
  
(blah) - Action ((blah)) - Me interrupting the story 'blah' - Thoughts "blah" - Direct quote from someone  
  
///////////////////////////  
  
CHAPTER 7: RYOU VS. BAKURA  
  
(All the yamis and hikaris are at the Motou Game Shop. They're playing 'Spin the Bottle')  
  
Ryou: Hmm...let's see...my turn? (spins the bottle)  
  
Bakura: (watches the bottle anxiously)  
  
Ryou: Oh...it landed on Yugi...  
  
Bakura and Yami: WHAT?!?!? O_______O  
  
Yugi: Daijobou ka, Yami? ((Translation: Are you all right, Yami?)  
  
Yami: (blush) Hai, hai. Go ahead, hikari. 'I still haven't confessed my feelings to him yet! Can't give it away now...' ((Translation: Yes, yes.))  
  
Yugi: (shyly goes up to Ryou) Ano...Ryou... ((Translation: Um...Ryou...))  
  
Ryou: (smiles sweetly) It's all right, Yugi. (stands up and puts a hand under Yugi's chin.)  
  
(They softly press their lips together. After a few seconds, Yugi runs back to his spot with a fire truck blush. Ryou just smiles sweetly ((Cause he's so sweet!)))  
  
Bakura: (jealous demons pop out and do the jitter bug dance on his shoulder)  
  
Yami: (glares at nothing)  
  
Yugi: Ok, my turn! (spins the bottle) Marik?!  
  
Malik: O_______O  
  
Marik: Great.  
  
Yugi: (just baaaaaarely kisses Marik, then runs back to his spot)  
  
Yami: (gives a death glare to the authoress)  
  
Marik: (grumbles) My turn. (spins the bottle) Bakura?!  
  
Bakura: -_-  
  
(They kiss and get it over with)  
  
Bakura: My turn. (spins the bottle) 'Please land on Ryou, please land on Ryou...' (bottle stops on...) PHARAOH NO BAKA?!?! (looks to the sky) Do all the gods hate me or something?!!?  
  
Yami: NOOO!!! I will not tolerate this! I won't kiss that Tomb Robber!!!  
  
Yugi: Come on Yami, it's just a game!  
  
Ryou: (lightly touches Bakura's arm) Please Bakura....  
  
(Three hours later)  
  
Yugi: Pleeeease Yami? (uses puppy eyes)  
  
Ryou: Onegai, Bakura? (uses puppy eyes) ((Translation: Please, Bakura?))  
  
Yami and Bakura: ...stupid puppy eyes...  
  
(They go to each other, and veeeeery reluctantly give each other a smaaaall peck on the lips)  
  
Yami and Bakura: ACK!!! EWWWWW!!! (runs off towards the bathroom) ((Separate ones, of course!))  
  
Malik: ...oh well! Let's keep on playing! (spins the bottle)  
  
(Four hours later)  
  
(Yami and Bakura come out of the bathroom, still sputtering)  
  
Yami: (sees Yugi) Hello aibou! (smiles)  
  
Bakura: (same with Ryou)  
  
All others: GAAAAAAH!!! I'M BLIIIIND!!!  
  
(You see, Yami and Bakura brushed their teeth for four hours straight. Their teeth are blindingly ((Is that even a word?)) white)  
  
Ryou: Well, since we skipped Yami Yugi's turn, it's now my turn. (spins it.)  
  
(Inashu pops up and does some magic on the bottle)  
  
Ryou: Yugi again?  
  
Bakura: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!  
  
Yami: .....  
  
Inashu: (grins wickedly)  
  
Ryou: (goes to Yugi) This is the fifteenth time, correct?  
  
Yugi: (blush) Yes...  
  
Bakura and Yami: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (goes on for two pages) AAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?  
  
Ryou and Yugi: (press their lips together softly)  
  
Inashu: (does some more magic)  
  
Ryou and Yugi: Mmmm...MPH?! (they try to pull apart)  
  
Marik: They're stuck! MWA HA HA!! Good one, Inashu!  
  
Inashu: My pleasure! I love torturing those two!  
  
Malik: Who? Yugi and Ryou?  
  
Authoress: No, Yami and Bakura.  
  
(They all look to Yami and Bakura. Yami has a fire background behind him with his eyes blazing. Bakura has 10,000,000,000,000,000 jealous demons doing the limbo all around him)  
  
Ryou and Yugi: Mph MMMPH!!! ((Translation: Help USSSS!!!)  
  
Inashu: (grins evilly and does some more magic)  
  
(Ryou thinks Yugi is Bakura, and Yugi thinks Ryou is Yami. They deepen their kiss)  
  
Yami and Bakura: GAAAAAH!!!  
  
(Thirty minutes later)  
  
(Ryou and Yugi are still kissing passionately. Marik and Malik got bored and ran to a spare bedroom. The Authoress still watches, drooling. Yami and Bakura are still glaring)  
  
Inashu: Man, I don't see how they can kiss for that long, but it's sill grrrreat! YAAAAOOOOII!!!  
  
Yami: FREE MY YUGI, NOOOOOOOW!!!  
  
Karalen: (pops up) INASHU!!! Quit messing with the destined couples!!! ((Destined couples: Yami and Yugi, Bakura and Ryou, Marik and Malik))  
  
Inashu: All right, yeesh...(she releases all the spells)  
  
(Both girls leave)  
  
Ryou and Yugi: (eyes literally pop out of their head when they see whom they're kissing. They back off and go fire engine red)  
  
Bakura: RYOU!!!  
  
Ryou: I'm sorry Bakura...  
  
(Later that night, still at the Motou residence, everyone is eating except Ryou. He's still trying to get all the dessert ready. Once he does so, he gets ready to sit down, when...)  
  
Bakura: Ryou, could you get me some coffee?  
  
Ryou: Sure thing Bakura! (goes and gets the coffee. Once he brings it back, he is about to eat when...)  
  
Bakura: Ryou, my spaghetti ran out. Get me some more.  
  
Ryou: (sighs) Sure Bakura. (goes to get the spaghetti)  
  
Yugi: Don't you think you're making him do too many things?  
  
Bakura: Nonsense! He does this every night, and I don't see him complaining!  
  
Ryou: (comes back with the spaghetti. He's about to eat when...)  
  
Bakura: Ryou, my bib's dirty! Go clean-  
  
Ryou: AAAAAAGHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
Bakura: ...Ryou?  
  
Ryou: SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP!!!  
  
Bakura: Huh?  
  
Ryou: Every single NIGHT, it's allllways the same thing! "Ryou do this, Ryou do that!" Well, I'm tired of it!  
  
Bakura: ...I just want my bib cleaned...  
  
Ryou: (Unhuman screech) THAT'S IIIIIIT!!! MY MIND IS LOOOOOOST!!! HAS ANYONE SEEN MY MIIIIIIND?!?!  
  
Yami: O_O  
  
Bakura: Ryou, what the-  
  
Ryou: I'M GONNA KEEEEEEEEEELL YOU AAAAAAALLLL!!! (gets a butcher knife and a flame thrower)  
  
All: O___________O AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! (runs away)  
  
Ryou: COME BACK HEEEERE!!! (runs after them)  
  
(30 minutes later. Malik has a video camera in front of him, practically up his nose)  
  
Malik: We've been in this room for 25 minutes, hiding from Ryou. He's officially lost it. (starts to hyperventilate) I'm gonna die out here...I'm so scared...If anyone finds this, it means I'm dead...(1)  
  
Marik: (grabs the video camera) Stop it aibou! I don't want you to loose your mind too!  
  
Malik: Hold me...(snuggles up to Marik)  
  
Marik: (holds Malik protectively)  
  
Bakura: (hugging his knees) What have I done, oh what have I done?  
  
Ryou: YAAAAAMIIIIIII?!?! I KNOW YOU'RE IN HERE SOMEWHEEEERE!!!  
  
Bakura: (claps a hand over his mouth)  
  
Ryou: COME OUT ALL OF YOOOOUUUU!!! I WON'T HURT YOU...WE'RE PLAAAAAYING A GAAAAAAME!!! IT'S CALLED, "CUT THE HEAD OFF THE YAMI!!!"  
  
Yami: We've got to get out of here!  
  
Marik: But how?! Ryou's out there with a butcher knife, a flame thrower, a chainsaw, heck, he even has a nuclear missile!  
  
Yami: We'll just have to sneak quietly and be extremely careful...  
  
Marik: Agreed. We need to get out of here for the hikaris sake.  
  
Yami: What? My aibou is just fine!  
  
Marik: (points to a corner)  
  
Yugi: (is whimpering and hugging his knees) I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die...  
  
Yami: ...I see. (goes to Yugi and picks him up)  
  
Ryou: MWA HA HA!!! I THINK I KNOOOW WHERE YOU AAAARE!!!  
  
Marik: (curses and picks up Malik) Come on y'all!  
  
(Everyone runs quietly out)  
  
Yugi: I'm ok...I'm ok...(gets down and gets beside everyone)  
  
Malik: (still whimpering) We need...to call the police...or something...  
  
Bakura: Good idea! ...how?  
  
Malik: (gets out of his scared state) With the telephone, idiot!  
  
Bakura: .....why would I wanna tell a phone that we're being chased by a psycho Ryou?  
  
Malik: NO! I mean the object, TELEPHONE!!!  
  
Bakura: ......what's a "tell-a-fon?"  
  
Malik: Never mind! (grabs the phone)  
  
Ryou: I HEEEEAAARD THAAAAT!!!  
  
Yugi: I'll distract him, you guys make the call! (sprints down the hall)  
  
Yami: NOOOOOOOOOO!!! YUUUUUUUUUGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!  
  
Malik: Oh, SHUT UP!!!  
  
Ryou: (pops up in front of them) This Yami was screaming so loud I could've shot him in the dark. (2)  
  
Yami: (scowls)  
  
Ryou: NOW YOU ALLLLLL DIIIIIEEE!!!  
  
Yugi: Not so fast, Ryou!  
  
Ryou: HUH?!  
  
Yugi: (swings down from a wire in the ceiling, yelling the 'Tarzan yell'. He kicks Ryou down the hall) Make the call, for the sake of all things holy, MAKE THE CALL!!!  
  
Malik: Yes, Police?! We have a homicidal maniac here! (gives him the address) And hurry the heck up!!! (hangs up)  
  
Yami: Now we have to save Yugi!  
  
Bakura: Wait a minute...where are they?  
  
Marik: (sees a note in the hallway) LOOKIE!!! Everyone, come lookie at thiiiiiis!! (the note has a diamond ring on top of it to hold it down) Ooooooooooh, shiiiiiiiiinyyyyyyyy...(stares at it and drools)  
  
Malik: (picks up note) "Dear Victims...if you ever want to see your little tri-hair colored friend again, you must find and fight me. Love, Ryou. P.S. I'M GONNA KEEEEEEEELL YOU ALLLLLL!!!"  
  
Yami: The note has blood on it...NO! NOT MY YUGI'S BLOOD!!!  
  
Bakura: (takes the blood and puts it in his mouth) Pharaoh no baka, it's just ketchup!  
  
Yami: ...oh. Well, we must find my lov...I mean, Yugi!  
  
Marik: Pharaoh...we already know that Yugi's your love, quit hiding it!  
  
Malik: (GASP) No WAY!!! Yami Yugi's in love with Yugi?! Like, WOW!!! (whispers in Bakura's ear) Did you know that Yami Yugi loves Yugi?! I didn't know either! (girlish squeal)  
  
Bakura: (sweatdrops)  
  
Yami: ONWARD!!! TO SAVE YUGI!!! (runs outside and smacks into a car) How DARE you try and stop me from saving Yugi?!?! MIND CRUSH!!! (tries to Mind Crush the car repeatedly)  
  
All 3: .......(sweatdrop)  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
Karalen: That was fun! Sorry, but I really love this chapter! This was really fun to work on, and I won't stop till the end...or unless I get a huge writer's block...  
  
Inashu: R&R peoples! Karalen worked hard on this one! With my ideas of course...(blows on her nails)  
  
Yami: How come RYOU gets to kiss Yugi?! I never got to kiss him!!!  
  
Karalen: Yes you did. Remember in the third chapter?  
  
Yami: That's different! Ryou got to kiss him 15 times!  
  
Inashu: Awwwwww, poor wittle baby....  
  
Karalen: Heh, no fluff for you!  
  
Yami: (pouts)  
  
Karalen: REVIIIIEEEEEWWW!!! Oh, and I do not own Tarzan's yell.  
  
(1)- Spoof off of 'Blair Witch Project' (2)- Line off of Lord of the Rings, just altered a bit. 


	8. Rescuing Yugi

Karalen: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Lord of the Rings, Fat Albert, or Final Fantasy X. There'll be various lines from other movies and such, so look out for those too.  
  
Inashu: ARAGORN IS MINE I TELL YOU, MIIIIIIINE!!! MWA HA HA!!! (drools over a hot pic of him)  
  
Karalen: ...that was random...on to the story!  
  
///////////////////////////////////////  
  
CHAPTER 8: RESCUING YUGI  
  
(Everyone sits by a riverbank. Everyone from the last chapter except Yugi, Ryou, Karalen, and Inashu are there. Along with them is the Fellowship from the Lord of the Rings, minus Sam, Merry and Pippin. Also with the group is Fat Albert from his own TV show, and Yuna from FFX.)  
  
Yami: (has war paint on his face) So, anyone got a plan?  
  
Legolas: No. Only thing I know is that we're the weirdest group ever.  
  
Frodo: Well said Legolas! ^_^  
  
Legolas: *sigh*  
  
Bakura: What's up with him?  
  
Aragon: Frodo got hit on the head really hard, courtesy of Boromir.  
  
Boromir: I'm telling you, I was trying to save him!  
  
Gimli: Suuuuure.  
  
Boromir: That orc jumped out and was heading towards Frodo! I tackled him in order to get him out of the way! It isn't my fault that I misjudged my tackle and Frodo's head landed on a rock!  
  
Gimli: Suuuuure.  
  
Aragorn: Anyway, when Frodo got hit on the head, he went unconscious. When he woke up, Legolas was the first person he saw. Now he's hanging all over him.  
  
Gandalf: I think Legolas is somewhat enjoying the attention. (winks at him)  
  
Legolas: I am not!  
  
Yuna: What are we running from anyway?  
  
Gandalf: Weren't you listening for the past few hours!?  
  
Yuna: Um...noooooooooo.  
  
Legolas: You have heard nothing Yami has said!  
  
Yuna: That's right!  
  
Yami: *sigh* To sum it all up, Ryou has gone insane, and has kidnapped Yugi. We're trying to get Yugi back.  
  
Fat Albert: Hey, hey, hey! What am I doin' here anyway?  
  
Malik: With your enormous bulk, the enemy will never defeat us!  
  
Fat Albert: I see.  
  
Frodo: Ring goes on (he disappears), ring goes off (he reappears), ring goes on, ring goes off (repeat this twenty times).  
  
Marik: AGH! SHUT UP!!!  
  
Frodo: (whimpers and clings to Legolas)  
  
Legolas: -_-;;;  
  
Bakura: Um...I think I know a way to get to Yugi and Ryou...  
  
All: You DO?!  
  
Bakura: Ryou still has his ring on, so I can track him down with my ring!  
  
Yami: Why didn't you tell us before?! Let's go! I shall save you YUUUUUUGIIIIIIII!!!!  
  
Legolas: Wait! There's something out there...  
  
(Bajillions of orcs storm out of the forest)  
  
Orcs: RAWR!!!  
  
All: AHHHHH!!! (all run away following Bakura, who is following Ryou's signal)  
  
(Hours later. The orcs loose the group's trail. Everyone keeps on running though)  
  
Yami: Are we there yet?  
  
Bakura: Yeah, we're almost- (smacks into the side of the castle) ...there...  
  
Yami: YUUUUUGIIIIII!!!!!!  
  
Aragorn: That's getting annoying really fast...  
  
Frodo: Ring goes on, ring goes off, ring goes on, ring goes off...  
  
Marik: That's even more annoying! (takes the ring from Frodo)  
  
Frodo: HEY!  
  
Marik: Don't worry, I'll return it to you later. (crosses fingers behind his back)  
  
(Later, in the castle)  
  
Ryou: (in a Mafia accent) Look kid, I got a deal ya can't refuse.  
  
Yugi: Really now? Would you mind telling me what it is?  
  
Ryou: I'll let you go if you tell me where your friends are.  
  
Yugi: NEVA!!!  
  
Ryou: Oh? And what'll ya do if I force ya to tell me?  
  
Yugi: I'll kick your butt! (eyes glow white. He floats in the air with a white aura around him, and has electricity coming off of him)  
  
Ryou: Oh. I forgot you had hikari powers. Dammit..  
  
(Outside)  
  
Yami: The battle to get to the castle has ended. The battle to get Yugi has just begun. Ready everyone!  
  
Everyone: (in kilts and really long swords) Aye aye!  
  
Marik: Um...me and Malik will just stay outside and...guard the castle!  
  
Yami: Ok! (runs in, followed by everyone else)  
  
Malik: Should we...?  
  
Marik: Trust me, you'll thank me later.  
  
Malik: Ok! (wink)  
  
Marik: ...pervert.  
  
(Inside. Ryou is mopping the floor with Yugi)  
  
Yugi: Dammit...OUCH!!! Don't scrub so hard!  
  
Ryou: But your hair makes the perfect mop Yugi!  
  
(Yami and everyone else storms in)  
  
Yami: Hands off my aibou!  
  
Ryou: (holds up a sword) If you want him, come and claim him!  
  
Yami: I already claim him! He practically has my blood!  
  
Ryou: ...(cuts himself and puts the blood in Yugi's mouth. Yugi is so surprised that he swallows) There! Now he has my blood!  
  
Bakura: That's just sick...maybe I should try that with Ryou sometime...  
  
Yami: (summons bajillions of orcs) Let go of MY Yugi!  
  
Ryou: (summons bajillions of demons) NEVA!!!  
  
Yami: CHARGE!!! (everyone fights)  
  
(Outside)  
  
Malik: You sure we shouldn't go in there? It sounds pretty insane...  
  
Marik: No.  
  
Malik: Ok- (Legolas crashes out of the second story window and lands hard on the ground) GAH!!!  
  
Legolas: Thank Elbereth for Elvish immortality!  
  
Marik: What happened?  
  
Legolas: Ow, my back...that demon archer....was a better archer...than me.  
  
Marik: Wow, he's good!  
  
Fat Albert: (falls out of the thirtieth story window and lands on Legolas hard) Hey, hey, hey! Thanks fo' breakin' my fall!  
  
Legolas: (in excruciating pain) No...problem...  
  
Marik: And what happened to you?  
  
Fat Albert: I was tryin' ta roll ova a group of demons, but I rolled too far.  
  
Malik: (pulls Fat Albert off of Legolas) What about the others?  
  
Yuna: (crashes out of the twelfth story window and lands hard) Ow...  
  
Fat Albert: (to Yuna) One o' dem guys said that they were gonna give ya a signal to destroy dis place.  
  
Marik: What kind of signa-  
  
Bakura: (falls out of the fourth story window and lands on the ground) Urg...now!  
  
Yuna: Whatever you say. (summons all her aeons) Destroy this land, aeons!  
  
Aeons: ROAR! (makes fire, ice, and whatever element they are hit the castle)  
  
Legolas: NO!!! FRODO!!! ARAGORN!!! GANDALF!!!  
  
Yuna: Don't worry, they'll be fine. AEONS! Destroy this filthy land!  
  
Aeons: ROAR! GRR! (gets bigger and starts destroying everything)  
  
Ryou: Stop please! I give up! PLEASE! No more violence! (cries)  
  
Bakura: (hugs Ryou protectively)  
  
Aragorn: (pops up out of the rubble. To Yuna) Is this even safe?!  
  
Yuna: Duh, no! Fat Albert told me to destroy the earth, and that's what I'm doing!  
  
Fat Albert: I didn't!  
  
Yuna: Too late now! AEONS! Make the weather horrible! Destroy this place!  
  
Aeons: GRR! (tornadoes, hurricanes, typhoons, tsunamis, and all other horrible weather ensues)  
  
Frodo: AHHHHH!!! (gets sucked up by a tornado)  
  
All: O_O (gets sucked up by the same tornado)  
  
Legolas: (gets hit by a tree) This is insane!  
  
Gimli: (gets hit by a truck) How long will this last?!  
  
Yuna: (using Protect on herself) Not too long! About a year!  
  
Gandalf: (gets hit by a cow) O_O We're going to die!  
  
Yugi: I don't wanna die!  
  
Yami: (thirty feet away from him) Don't worry Yugi! I'm right here! I won't let anything hurt you!  
  
Yugi: Thanks Ya- (gets hit by the Leaning Tower of Pizza. He falls unconcious)  
  
Yami: (thinks Yugi is dead) NOOOOOO!!! YUUUUUUUUUGIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!  
  
Ryou: I'm too young to die!  
  
Bakura: Ah, shaddup! (gets hit by various debris) NOO!!! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!!  
  
(several hours later)  
  
All: (lands in New York City. All kinds of weather disturbances are everywhere. Yuna lands softly on the ground)  
  
Yuna: And the weather is like this all over the world!  
  
Yami: (holding an unconscious Yugi) I'm gonna KEELL HER!!!  
  
Inashu: (pops up) NO! We still have to bash her! (pops down)  
  
Legolas: (Tornado drops him. Dazed, he lands next to Frodo) Welcome to New York, the big apple!  
  
Frodo: Legolas! You're okay! (hugs him)  
  
Legolas: -_-  
  
Fat Albert: (Tsunami drops him. He lands on his back) AY, stupid Tsunami! (tries to get up) ...I can't get up...(tries to roll on his side, but his bulk won't let him) I CAN'T GET UP!!! (he keeps trying to roll to his side) AHHHHHH!!! IIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!! IIIIIIIIII CAAAAAAN'T GEEEEEEET UUUUUUP!!! (1)  
  
Frodo: (ignoring Fat Albert and is still hugging Legolas) ...where's the ring?  
  
Marik: I think I dropped it back in Italy.  
  
Fellowship: WHAT?!  
  
Ryou: (evil laughter)  
  
Bakura: HEY! That's my laugh!  
  
Ryou: Too bad! You think I really went to the sane side! MWA HA HA!!! I've fooled you all!  
  
Gandalf: What do you mean, you fool of a Ryou?  
  
Ryou: I'm still insaaaaaane!!! (stalks towards Frodo with a maniacal grin)  
  
Frodo: (whimpers) I don't wanna die...  
  
Legolas: (stands in front of Frodo and points his bow and arrow at Ryou) Stand back!  
  
Frodo: My hero! (hugs Legolas)  
  
Legolas: -_-  
  
Ryou: Fools! I'm not after you! (grabs Yugi)  
  
Yami: NO, YUUUUUUGIIIIIII!!!  
  
Ryou: Sayonara! (jumps in a tornado and lets it sweep him away) OW!!! Stupid Leaning Tower...AGH!!! Stupid cow...  
  
Yami: We must save Yugi!  
  
Bakura: Again?  
  
Yami: And you have to save Ryou!  
  
Marik: Again?  
  
Yami: (sighs)  
  
Fellowship: That's not important now! We still need the ring!  
  
Bakura: Wait! That reminds me! I just figured out something!  
  
Yami: What now, Tomb Robber?!  
  
Bakura: My ring can lead me to Ryou! Apparently, he still hasn't taken it off! Pharaoh, if you want Yugi back, then follow me. (follows the signal of the ring)  
  
Marik: Well then, let's go! (follows Bakura, who is following the signal of the ring))  
  
Malik: Right behind ya, Yami! (follows Marik, who's following Bakura, who's following the signal of the ring)  
  
All: Wait for us! (Follows Malik, who's following Marik, who's following Bakura, who's following the signal of the ring)  
  
(A hurricane suddenly appears and carries them all away)  
  
All: Darn you Yuna!  
  
Yuna: Nobody loves me...T-T  
  
Bakura: It's leading us there anyway! ONWARD!!! TO VICTORY!!!  
  
(Several hours later. They're on the ground, where it's raining horribly)  
  
Yami: Tomb robber! You're not leading us into some trap, are you?!  
  
Bakura: NO! Why would I be?!  
  
Yami: I don't know. I just felt like saying it.  
  
Bakura: ...pharaoh no baka...  
  
Yuna: (goes to front of group) I'm tiiiiiired! I'm huuuuungry! Are we there- (smacks into a door) ...yet?  
  
Bakura: (looks around door) There's nothing on the other side....what's Ryou thinking?!  
  
Yami: (pushes on door) And the door is locked tight...  
  
Fat Albert: (looks at the door) Ay! Thar's writen' on it!  
  
Frodo: It's a riddle!  
  
Legolas: What's it say?  
  
Frodo: I'll read it for you!  
  
Legolas: Um...ok...thanks...  
  
Frodo: Anything for you, Legolas! ^_^  
  
Legolas: -_-  
  
The Riddle  
  
So, you want to save your hikari?  
  
In that case, come and get me!  
  
Maybe you'll get him, maybe you won't.  
  
Please solve this riddle, and you'll get in!  
  
Light needs Darkness. Darkness needs light.  
  
Even in tough times, they'll always find each other.  
  
Against all odds, they'll always shine through.  
  
Never apart, through thick and thin.  
  
Days go by, now light is separated from dark,  
  
Can the dark find the light?  
  
Let's find out! Use wit, voice, and power!  
  
Every light has a darkness, so solve this riddle,  
  
And you'll get your hikari back.  
  
Nademonai dame Yami. Hontou ni?  
  
Aragorn: What's the last line mean?  
  
Yami: "Nothing stops Dark. Is that true?" It's Japanese. (2)  
  
Bakura: Well, what's the answer to the riddle?!  
  
Marik: It didn't even ask us a question!  
  
Malik: This'll be tougher than I thought...  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
Karalen: Ok Readers! It's your job to figure out the riddle! If you think you know the answer, leave a review! I'll wait for awhile to see if anyone got it right, then I'll post the answer next time I update!  
  
Inashu: The person (s) that get the answer will get a plushie of their favorite character! You must state which chibi you want!  
  
Karalen: So try your best, and R&R! Will the Fellowship get the Ring back? Will Ryou's sanity ever come back? Find out next time! There will be more Yami x Yugi, Bakura x Ryou, Marik x Malik later, and there'll be tiny hints of Frodo/Legolas (Cause I just think they look cute like that!)  
  
(1)- I got this from 'A Christmas Story'. (2)- Well, it's something along the lines of that...my Japanese isn't all that great... 


	9. Rescuing Yugi 2

Karalen: Wow, 40 reviews! That's the most reviews I've ever gotten! You must like my story! I feel so...loved! (sobs from happiness)  
  
Inashu: The quiz was easy...if you look at it really hard.  
  
Karalen: Heh, no one got it right! The only person that got it right was my friend. She came over, read the story, loved it, then solved the riddle easily without any help.  
  
Inashu: It's FF.net's fault. If it was spaced out like it was in Word, then people probably would've gotten it.  
  
Karalen: I guess you're right...anyway, here's the next chapter, along with the answer to the riddle!  
  
/////////////////////////////////  
  
CHAPTER 9: RECUING YUGI...AGAIN  
  
(Yuna and Fat Albert are gone. The yamis are arguing over the riddle, while the Fellowship stands to the side)  
  
Frodo: (stares at the riddle)  
  
Bakura: I still don't get what it is!  
  
Yami: I think I know of one person who knows the answer...KAIBA!!!  
  
Kaiba: (walks out of nowhere) Yeah, what?  
  
Joey: (also pops up out of nowhere) Solve this riddle.  
  
Kaiba: Ok. (looks at the riddle) Um...duct tape and gravy? (1)  
  
Yami: (reaches in his hair and pulls out some duct tape and gravy)  
  
Boromir: (puts his hand through Yami's hair and pulls out a katana) Whoa!  
  
Gandalf: (puts his hand through Yami's hair and pulls Hiei out, who has scratches and bruises all over him) It's a dimensional portal!  
  
Hiei: Huh? What the hell am I doing here?! I'm supposed to be helping Kurama! I'm coooooming Kuuuuraaaaamaaaaa!!! (grabs katana from Boromir, jumps back in Yami's hair and disappears)  
  
Yami: (smooths his hair) Hey! Watch the hair! (puts a strip of duct tape on the door and throws gravy at it) ...nope. Didn't work.  
  
Legolas: Frodo? What're you doing?  
  
Frodo: (hugs him) Nothing. It's just that...I think I solved the riddle...  
  
Legolas: -_-...Wait! You solved it?!  
  
Frodo: Yes! You see, after each of the 's is a capitol letter. If you put the letters together, it spells "SIMPLE AND CLEAN". Isn't that a song?  
  
Legolas: You actually solved it! (hugs him)  
  
Frodo: ^__________^ I guess I'm good with riddles! ^_^  
  
Bakura: I know that song!  
  
Yami: So do I!  
  
Marik: Ok! You two will have to sing together!  
  
Bakura and Yami: (sighs) Fine...  
  
((Yami sings the melody, and Bakura sings the alto part. Ok readers! If you know the song, sing along with them!))  
  
Yami and Bakura: When you walk away, you don't hear me say  
  
Please, oh baby, don't go  
  
Simple and Clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight  
  
It's hard to let it go.  
  
  
  
You're giving me  
  
Too many things  
  
Lately you're all I need  
  
You smiled at me and said  
  
Don't get me wrong, I love you  
  
But does that mean I have to meet you father?  
  
When we are older you'll understand what I meant when I said "No,  
  
I don't think life is quite that simple"  
  
  
  
When you walk away, you don't hear me say  
  
Please, oh baby, don't go  
  
Simple and Clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight  
  
It's hard to let it go  
  
(So simple and clean)  
  
The daily things (like this and that and what is what)  
  
That keep us all busy  
  
Are confusing me  
  
That's when you came to me and said  
  
"Wish I could prove I love you  
  
But does that mean I have to walk on water?  
  
When we are older you'll understand it's enough when I say 'So,  
  
And maybe some things are that simple'"  
  
  
  
When you walk away, you don't hear me say  
  
Please, oh baby, don't go  
  
Simple and Clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight  
  
It's hard to let it go  
  
  
  
Hold me  
  
Whatever lies beyond this morning  
  
Is a little later on  
  
Regardless of warnings  
  
The future doesn't scare me at all  
  
Nothing's like before  
  
When you walk away, you don't hear me say  
  
Please, oh baby, don't go  
  
Simple and Clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight  
  
It's hard to let it go  
  
Hold me  
  
Whatever lies beyond this morning  
  
Is a little later on  
  
Regardless of warnings  
  
The future doesn't scare me at all  
  
Nothing's like before  
  
Hold me  
  
Whatever lies beyond this morning  
  
Is a little later on  
  
Regardless of warnings  
  
The future doesn't scare me at all  
  
Nothing's like before  
  
  
  
Bakura: Jeez, you sing horribly, Pharaoh!  
  
Yami: Not as bad as you do, Tomb Robber!  
  
Malik: Hey look you guys! The door's opening!  
  
(Sure enough, the door opens, but before they can get through, two boys come out.)  
  
Riku: The door has opened Sora!  
  
Sora: I knew it would open someday!  
  
Marik: Huh? Who're you two?!  
  
Sora: (gives Marik a stoned grin) I'm Sora, and this is my lo-...erm...best friend Riku!  
  
Riku: Yeah...best friend...heh heh...^_^;;;  
  
Malik: (knowing look) Riiiiiight...  
  
Riku & Sora: ^_^;;;  
  
Yami: Well, we can't just stay here, we must save Yugi!  
  
Riku: Yugi? Who's Yugi?  
  
Marik: Oh yeah, they don't know what he looks like...he's a short dude, about this tall...(holds his hand four feet from the ground) He has tri- colored hair: red, black, and blonde. It's really weird...almost exactly like his hair...(points at Yami) And he's got these eyes that not even the evilest heart can go up against.  
  
Sora: Oh yeah, we saw him! This guy with white hair was dragging him along the beach.  
  
Riku: Poor kid...I felt sorry for him. The one with the white hair looked like he was going to kill the little guy.  
  
Yami: WHAT?! Why didn't you save him?!  
  
Riku: Um...me and Sora were...too busy...um...finding things for Kairi! Yeah, that's it!  
  
Malik: (raises an eyebrow at the two) In...deed.  
  
Sora: Yep! Finding things for Kairi! (2)  
  
Yami: That is no excuse! We must save Yugi!  
  
Bakura: And I need to bring Ryou back to the sane world!  
  
Riku: Hold on. You guys can't find your way around Destiny Islands without us.  
  
Sora: (pinches Riku's cheek) Aw, admit it! You feel really bad for not helping that tri-colored hair boy!  
  
Riku: Do not!  
  
Sora: Do too!  
  
Riku: Do not!  
  
Sora: Do too!  
  
Riku: Do not!  
  
Sora: Do too!  
  
Riku: Do not!  
  
Sora: Do too!  
  
(Five hours later)  
  
Riku: Do not!  
  
Sora: Do too!  
  
Riku: Do not!  
  
Sora: Do too!  
  
Riku: Do not!  
  
Sora: Do t-...wait a minute...what were we arguing about again?  
  
Riku: (opens his mouth to answer. Then he closes it) ...you know what? I don't know.  
  
All: (face faults)  
  
Yami: We have to save Yugi! He could already be dead by now!  
  
Riku: Well, Sora and I wanna see other worlds! And since Yugi's back at our place, we're not going with you!  
  
Malik: I thought you were going to show us around Destiny Islands!  
  
Riku: Well, I changed my mind!  
  
Sora: (touches Riku's arm lightly) Riku...  
  
Riku: No Sora.  
  
Sora: (does the famous 'Sora pout')  
  
Riku: (eye twitch) I said no!  
  
Sora: (whispers in Riku's ear)  
  
Riku: (frowns in thought, then blushes heavily.) Oh, all right!  
  
Marik: Finally! Now, show us around the island!  
  
Sora: As you wish! (walks towards the door)  
  
Riku: (looks at the landscape of the 'new world' and sighs) Curse Sora and his cuteness...(walks behind Sora)  
  
All Others: (follows the duo. They emerge in the Secret Cave. They follow the two to Destiny Island.)  
  
Sora: Welcome to Destiny Island!  
  
Malik: Please turn off all cell phones and beepers, and no pictures please.  
  
Riku: ....what's a cell phone?  
  
Sora: And what's a beeper?  
  
Riku & Sora: And what's a picture?  
  
Malik: ....nothing. You two definitely need to see new worlds.  
  
Marik: ....hey....did you guys notice that the Fellowship is gone?  
  
Malik: Um...Yami...there's a note stuck on your back...  
  
Marik: A NOTE?!?! (rolls on the ground and flops like the evil Magikarp) GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!!!!!!!  
  
Malik: -_-;;; (gets the note off) It reads..."Dear Weirdos, We have gone to find the ONE RING. Do not worry about us, we're obviously not worried about you. Sincerely, The Fellowship of the Ring."  
  
Yami: I hope they're ok...but I can't worry about that now! YUUUGIII!!!  
  
Riku: Keep that up and I won't show you around!  
  
Yami: ....  
  
Riku: That's better.  
  
(Suddenly, out in the sea, a huge wave comes upon the island, tossing all the others except one to the other side of it)  
  
Bakura: What happened?  
  
Riku: Urg...(looks around) Sora? SORA?! WHERE ARRRRE YOOOOUUUU???!!!  
  
Malik: Hey Marik! There's another note strapped to your back!  
  
Marik: AGGGGGHHHHH!!! GET IT OFF!!!  
  
Yami: -_- (takes the note off) It reads, "Dear Group, I have now kidnapped Sora! Now I have Yugi and Sora in my clutches! MWA HA HA!!! Love, Ryou."  
  
Riku: NOOOO!!! SORAAAAAA!!! RYOU WILL PAAAAAY!!!  
  
Yami: We have to find him!  
  
Marik: But how?  
  
Malik: Well obviously, Ryou's hidden base is under water. So, we'll just have to take a submarine under water!  
  
Yami: (pulls a huge submarine out of his hair)  
  
Riku: Wow, so that's what a "sub-mah-reene" looks like...I'M COOOOMIIIIING SOOOORAAAA!!! (runs smack into the side of the submarine) Ow...Um...how do you get in here...?  
  
Bakura: -_-;;; (grabs Riku and puts him inside the submarine)  
  
Marik: (gets in the submarine and looks at the gadgets) Ooooooh, shiiiiiinyyyyy...(drools on the controls)  
  
Malik: Since I'm the only one who knows about modern day technology...(shoves Marik aside) I'M DA CAPTAIN!!! (puts on a pirate's hat and an eyepatch) ARRRR!!! Man the controls, mateys!  
  
Other 4: Um...Aye aye captain! (goes to the controls)  
  
Malik: Jes do what I say an' we'll be fine!  
  
(Three hours later)  
  
Yami: We're lost, aren't we?  
  
Malik: Nonsense matey! We're just...not in the right direction!  
  
Riku: Who cares?! Sora could be dead by now! Get us to that Ryou or else!  
  
Malik: Fine, fine, yeesh...  
  
(Suddenly, an explosion from far away rumbles the submarine.)  
  
Marik: What was that?!  
  
Bakura: Sounded like an explosion!  
  
Yami: Thank you, Captain Obvious!  
  
Riku: It came from that way, so that must mean that's where Ryou is!  
  
Malik: On mah way! (steers submarine in that direction)  
  
(One hour later)  
  
(Everyone except Malik is bored. They all hang out in the back, when they suddenly hear a loud "thump", followed by a girlish shriek from Malik. They sigh and run towards the ship)  
  
Marik: Hikaaaaariiiiiii!!! (runs over Riku to get to Malik)  
  
Riku: Agh! Get off of me Marik!  
  
Marik: Sorry...(gets off and goes towards Malik)  
  
Riku: My poor, soft, pale skin...(kisses a non-existant bruise)  
  
Yami: (helps Riku up)  
  
Bakura: Whoa! Guys, come look at this!  
  
(Riku and Yami look up from what they're doing to see...)  
  
Riku: (GASP! Voice shakes a bit) Is...is that Sora?!  
  
Yami: (same) And Yugi?!  
  
(Sure enough, there's Yugi unconscious on the windshield of the Submarine, looking like a poor fly on a windshield. He has scratches and bruises all over him, and his clothes are barely on him. There is blood all over the windshield. Clutched in his hand is Sora, who looks worse than Yugi does.) ((don't worry, they're alive!))  
  
Malik: Those two need to move, I can't see! (cranes neck to try and see over the two)  
  
Yami: (flailing his arms around) Who cares?! We have to bring Yugi in here!!!  
  
Riku: (doing the same as Yami) And Sora too!!!  
  
Bakura: (sighs) Fine.  
  
(With the combined efforts of Marik, Bakura, Yami, and Riku, they open the latch and drag Yugi and Sora in. By the time they drag the two in, Yugi and Sora's clothes come completely off. A whole bunch of water goes in the ship, so they whip out vacuums from Yami's hair and suck all the water out. Yugi and Sora are sprawled out on the floor, amazingly alive)  
  
Yami and Riku: (runs in circles around the two) MY LOVE IS OKAAAAAY!!! JOY TO THE WORLD!!!  
  
Malik: Yeah! All thanks to-...(actually gets a good look at the two. His nose explodes with blood, then he passes out)  
  
Marik: Hikari!  
  
Bakura: Great. Just freakin great. Malik was the only one who knew how to drive the thing.  
  
Yami: Who cares?! My love is alive!  
  
Bakura: They're going to be dead if you don't do something with them!  
  
Yami and Riku: Oh...right. (they get the first aid kit out and clean up their loved ones, while putting a blanket on them.)  
  
Bakura: Wait a minute...WHERE'S RYOU?!?!  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
Karalen: So, what did happen to Ryou? Is he dead? Or is he alive somewhere? What happened to Yugi and Sora? Will anybody be able to drive the sub? Will I stop asking questions?! Does this thing actually have a plot?! Find out in the next chapter! R&R PLEEEEEAAAASSSEEEE!!!!  
  
(1): This is the answer that came from Nanashi! I thought it was really funny, so I put it in here! And I also had to state my beliefs that I think Yami's hair is a dimensional portal.... (2): I hate Kairi. She makes you do alllll this work, and what does she do? NOTHING!!! And she calls you a lazy bum, HAH!!!! Plus, she gets in the way of Riku and Sora's looooove!!! 


	10. Ryou returns! More insanity!

Karalen: (is literally covered in pixie sticks) Mmph, mmph mmph mmmmmph mmmmph!  
  
Inashu: (points and laughs)  
  
Evil Ivan: (flies in) What'd she say?  
  
Inashu: She said, "Inashu, get these oooooff meeeeee!"  
  
Evil Ivan: (picks up a pixie stick) I thought she loved these...  
  
Inashu: She does! She's just being smothered in them! (laughs out loud)  
  
Evil Ivan: (sigh) Might as well get her out...she needs to do the review answering. (uses his Tornado to get the pixie sticks off)  
  
Karalen: (takes a breath) I CAN BREATH!!! Huh? (glances around) EVIL IVAN!!! (glomps)  
  
Evil Ivan: Someone, anyone, just shoot me now..  
  
Karalen: (faces the readers) Eh heh...I bet you're all kinda angry that I haven't updated...no, not angry...annoyed! Yes! Annoyed! Well, I have a perfect explanation! One: During summer vacation, I've had numerous things to do. I barely had any free time. Two: I've had a huuuuuge writer's block for basically all of my stories. Three: (sweatdrops and laughs a little) I kinda lost confidence in my abilities when somebody flamed my Golden Sun fic...but then I realized...that's my first flame out of about ten fics...so, now I'm ok with it!  
  
Evil Ivan: Aren't you forgetting something?  
  
Inashu: (still laughing it up)  
  
Karalen: Oh yes, the review answering. (glances at the number of them) OVER 70?!?! ...oh well! This'll take awhile...  
  
Evil Ivan: You do that. I'll be after a certain flamer that flamed your very first Golden Sun story. (starts to fly away)  
  
Karalen: No! You need to help me!  
  
Evil Ivan: (sighs) Fine.  
  
Inashu: (still laughing her ass off)  
  
Review Answering!  
  
* * = Muses notes (Inashu, Evil Ivan)  
  
Queen Hatshepsut II- I know! RikuxSora has to be one of my favorite couplings of all time! If you want a good RikuxSora story, you should see the ones called "Kissing Lesson" and "Next Lesson". They're both kick ass stories!  
  
Lady Draca Greenleaf- Yep, he does go through hell. And he'll continue going through hell until I say so! MWA HA HA!!!  
  
dragungirl199- Well, here it is! The next update! w00t!  
  
Heather Sutaki- O.O;;; (gets out those things you shock people with) CLEAR!!! Phew, I brought you back...after all, if you're not alive, you can't read the story! ^_^  
  
Coolies- Don't worry, you'll know what happens to Ryou soon! Yes, Marik loves shiny things...he reeeaaally loves shiny things...  
  
*Inashu: INU-YASHA!!! (chases him) I LOOOOVE YOU INU-YASHA!!!!!!!*  
  
Black-Rose-Spirit-Mage- When Yami will confess his love? Hmm, I dunno...soon, I promise!  
  
Daredevil- Look, I'm updated! After what, two months? Sorry, but I had a huge writer's block...  
  
Argentowolf- Your review made me laugh my ass off as well! I hope you find your ass soon!  
  
LightShadow- Shadow, thanks for putting me on your favorites! Light, why don't you like yaoi? Oh well. Keep reading, cause I think my writer's block is over now!  
  
SSJ Bulma- (throws her some aspirin) There! Now it won't hurt so bad when you laugh! Well, hopefully, I'll get the rest out really soon!  
  
*Inashu: This is the story that never ends! This is the story that never ends!*  
  
*Evil Ivan: -.-;;;...see what I have to deal with?*  
  
WhiteLightning- (wipes some PIXI STICKS dust off her hair) Man, I can tell you sure do like Pixie sticks! (looks at the huge pile) This is gonna take me months to finish! .......(turns to rest of reviewers) Want some?  
  
*Inashu: PIXI STICKS!!!!!! (dives in pile)*  
  
FairysGift- Thanks! ^_^  
  
Yami ChaosGem- Don't worry, there'll be more Kairi and Tea bashing! I also happen to love Hiei. In fact, he's my favorite anime character of all time!  
  
*Inashu: I love Inu-Yasha too! (chases him again)*  
  
chibibaka- Here's my update! And byeeeeee to you to! ^_^  
  
Kaji the Harlequin- Hey, I love Cloud and Sephiroth too! Although, I like Vincent better...anyway, I'll make sure that you see those two really soon! How far are you in Kingdom Hearts? I'm stuck on one part...ah, I'm rambling...moving on!  
  
firedraygon97- Don't worry, you'll find out where Ryou is very soon! And here's my update! And Ryou will be all right, so again, don't worry!  
  
Princess Strawberry- O.O...the great Princess Strawberry has reviewed my poor pathetic story? OH MY GOSH!!! (squeals in joy) I'm sooooo glad you like my story! I read your Y/Y evidence list on Starkiss's bio, and I loved it! Stupid Cartoon Network here STILL isn't past Duelist Kingdom, so I haven't seen those episodes yet. I happen to love your stories as well! I hope you read my story some more, your greatness!  
  
*Evil Ivan: She's rambling...again. I can't believe what I have to put up with around here...*  
  
biisis: As you can see, your guess on the riddle is wrong. (blushes) Well..actually...I'm not all that great at Japanese...heh...  
  
Nanashi: Come back so I can read more stories! Anyway, I'm still glad you reviewed this story of mine! Keep reading and writing! I love Cloud too! Cloud-sama...(drools) And yes, fics can be cute and insane at the same time! ...like 'The Trip'! I loved that one!  
  
*Evil Ivan: Now you got her worked up over Cloud! Stupid...Cloud...*  
  
Starkiss: You reviewed too? OH HAPPY DAY!!!! I love your stories! You need to write more! I also saw the lurverly Y/Y piccy...where'd you find it?!? I must...have...more...Y/Y...(twitch) give...URL...for...more...piccies...(snaps out of it) Have you been to a website called W-bind? It's only the best Y/Y art gallery out there! I'll e-mail the URL if you haven't seen it! I got a flame too...on my first Golden Sun fic...I worked hard on it too! (whimpers) ...I'm rambling again...moving on!  
  
Green Eyes Silver Dragon- Thanks! ^_^  
  
Beverly: Yes, no fluffiness! MWA HA HA!!! nyiekniekniek :]  
  
Nano*Mecka: Yes, Marik is VERY attracted to shiny things...it's fun to watch him go crazy for shiny things!  
  
stupid kid 04 and blah- I'm glad you liked my story! Yeah, if Freezer were here, he'd probably kill me right away. Man, everybody's dying from laughter! You think it's contagious?  
  
waterfall2014- Yes, you're correct about Yu Yu Hakusho. It's my favorite anime out there! Thanks for the doughnuts! Unfortunately, I hate Dr. Pepper, but that's ok! ^_^  
  
Phat Katt- Hey, don't worry! Legolas is my man! But...you might have to go through Inashu if you want Aragorn...  
  
*Inashu: Aragorn is MIIIIIIIIINE!!!!!*  
  
Faerie-Aisha- Hey, I'm crazy too! (jumps out a window)  
  
*Inashu: That's my job! (jumps out the window and throws Karalen back)*  
  
*Evil Ivan: (sighs and shakes his head)*  
  
Renee the Rabid Squirrel- Thanks! ^_^  
  
Merodi no Yami- Thanks for reviewing! You need to update your stories too so I can review them! MWA HA HA!!!  
  
*Evil Ivan: ......-.-;;;*  
  
FluffCat- Yesh, insanity is gooooooood for the braiiiiiin...^_^  
  
Kirara- The first review!!! Thanks for reading! You get a plushie of your favorite character of all time! (hands over the plushie) Ja ne!  
  
END REVIEW ANSWERING  
  
Karalen: Jeez, that took a long time...but it was fun! Now, on to the story!  
  
Evil Ivan: (sigh) Karalen does not own Yu-Gi-Oh...at all. Except for the Ryou pic she made just now...she's making me say this. She also doesn't own Monty Python and the Holy Grail...at all.  
  
Karalen: I just drew a pic of Ryou...it's the best picture I ever made...did I actually draw that?! X_X (dies from shock)  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
CHAPTER 10: RYOU RETURNS! MORE INSANITY!  
  
Malik: (wakes up) Ugh...what happened?  
  
Marik: HIKARI!!! OH THANK RA!!! (glomps him)  
  
Malik: .....er...yami....please get off...  
  
Bakura: (stares at both of them) .....  
  
Marik: Oh...right...(gets off)  
  
Malik: Now, what happened?  
  
Marik: Well, we saved Yugi and Sora about thirty minutes ago. You passed out from a nosebleed. Don't worry, they're ok now. Yami and Riku patched them up.  
  
Yami: (glaring at Riku) Stupid cheater...since when did he know about magic?!  
  
(AN: Riku used 'Heal' on Sora)  
  
Marik: Oi, Yami! Why don't you get closer to Yugi? You know you love him!  
  
Yami: (is twenty feet away from Yugi) I can't! I'm his yami, not his lover! It would be unthinkable to get an inch closer to him!  
  
Malik: ...dude, you have some serious issues...  
  
Bakura: (grins at Malik) I know! ^____________^  
  
Malik: What's up with him?  
  
Marik: We can't find Ryou. He's gone nuts.  
  
Malik: Oh...I wonder how the Fellowship is doing?  
  
(Meanwhile, in Italy...)  
  
((Don't get me wrong, I love Sam, Merry, and Pippin! I think they're adorable! But I didn't really see how much use they would be to the story, and there would be too many characters...))  
  
Aragorn: Are you absolutely sure that this is the right way Gandalf?  
  
Gandalf: Of course I'm sure! The castle that holds the ring is that way! But, there is one thing you all must know...  
  
Gimli: Oh? And what's that?  
  
Gandalf: A monstrous beast protects the castle! It is big, ferocious, and has HUUUGE teeth! (makes a biting sign with his hands)  
  
Frodo: ...and? I mean, we've battled monsters before! Besides, if the monster is that bad, Legolas will protect me! ^_^  
  
Legolas: (sigh)  
  
Gandalf: You don't understand! This monster is too powerful! It has teeth that'll bite your head off! (makes a biting sign with his hands at Frodo)  
  
Boromir: I'm not afraid! Let's just go!  
  
(They skip ahead, with Sam, Merry, and Pippin behind them with coconuts, making hoofbeat noises.)  
  
Aragorn: Ah! There's the castle!  
  
(they stop and hear growling noises)  
  
Gandalf: It's the monster with the teeth!  
  
(The monster comes out. It's...)  
  
Aragorn: A rabbit?! The monster's a RABBIT?!  
  
Gandalf: But it's a monstrous rabbit! It has sharp teeth, and it's rabid!  
  
Sam: I've had enough of this, I'm going in! (runs towards the castle.)  
  
(The rabbit lunges at Sam, and bites clear through his neck. Sam screams, then falls dead. The rabbit sits back with blood all over his front)  
  
Frodo: No! SAM!!! (weeps and hugs Legolas)  
  
Legolas: (staring at the sight) HOLY SON OF A FLYING RING WRAITH!!!  
  
Gandalf: I told you that rabbit was monstrous, but nooooooo, you didn't listen to me!  
  
Boromir: Whatever, just shut up!  
  
Pippin: How about we all confuse him?  
  
Aragorn: Wha?  
  
Pippin: You know, we make him so mad that we confuse him?  
  
Gandalf: Fool of a Took.  
  
Aragorn: I know! Let's all go in together! We ARE the Fellowship!  
  
Gandalf: I don't think that's such a good idea...  
  
Boromir: Let's just go already! I'm not afraid!  
  
All: YEAH!  
  
(All of them except Gandalf rush in and attempt to fight the rabbit. The rabbit gets a rabid look and lunges at them all. The rabbit kills a few of them by biting their necks off)  
  
Aragorn: RUN AWAY!!!!  
  
(They all run away, screaming..."run away!" They all get behind a rock)  
  
Gandalf: (pointing and laughing) AH HA HA!!! I told you all, but noooooooo!!!  
  
Aragorn: Ok, which ones are dead?  
  
Gimli: Hmm...Sam, Merry, Pippin...  
  
(they hear a scream)  
  
Gimli: ...and Boromir.  
  
Frodo: How do we destroy it?!  
  
Legolas: We could use the Holy Grenade...  
  
Frodo: Good idea! (you know the drill...)  
  
Legolas: (sigh)  
  
Aragorn: Monks! Bring out the Holy Grenade!  
  
(The monks come out, singing a hymn. They carefully hand the Holy Grenade to Aragorn. They say some instructions)  
  
Monk: Count to three once you pull the pin. Do NOT throw it too early, and do NOT throw it too late. Four is definitely not the number you count to, three is! Five is way too much, three is the number you count to! Then you throw it at your enemy, and watch him blow up!  
  
Aragorn: Right! (pulls pin out with teeth) 1...2...5!  
  
Frodo: Um...I think it's supposed to be three...  
  
Aragorn: Be quiet Frodo! I think I know how to count!  
  
Legolas: Um...Aragorn...  
  
Aragorn: WHAT?! You're siding with him! I don't freakin' believe this!  
  
Gimli: Aragorn!  
  
Aragorn: WHAT?!  
  
Gimli: Throw the damn thing before-  
  
(the grenade explodes, leaving a charred Fellowship)  
  
Gimli: ...it explodes.  
  
(They all fall over, twitching)  
  
(Back at the submarine)  
  
Yami: .....(glares over at Riku) Will you two knock it off?!  
  
Riku: (quickly gets off of a fully healed Sora) Er...we weren't doing anything!  
  
Sora: Yeah! We were just...finding things for Kairi!  
  
Riku: Yeah! That's it!  
  
Both: ^_^;;;  
  
Yami: ...(glares at nothing in particular)  
  
(They hear a knocking at the front of the ship)  
  
Malik: Huh? (looks at the ship) Hey look! It's a scuba-diver! With...Ryou in his arms?!  
  
Bakura: WHAT?! (looks) Hey, YOU!!! GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HIM, NOW!!!  
  
Marik: Bring those two in, now!  
  
(they bring the two in. Ryou coughs up some water, but is otherwise fine.)  
  
Ryou: Ugh...what happened?  
  
Bakura: You mean you don't remember anything?  
  
Ryou: (thinks) Noooooooo...  
  
Bakura: (whacks Ryou upside the head) You baka!  
  
(the scuba-diver takes his mask off and reveals itself as...)  
  
All: NOOOOO!!! OH DEAR RA NOOOOO!!!  
  
Tea: Hi guys! Guess what?! I saved Ryou! That's a perfect symbol of our friendship!  
  
Yami: I thought you died! I thought Anubis killed you!!!  
  
Tea: Yeah, like, well, like, Anubis said, like, "AAAAAAAH!!! WE CAN'T STAND THIS BITCH!!! TAKE HER AWAY!!! DEAR RA, TAKE HER AWAY!!!". So, as a symbol of pure friendship, Ra sent me back here! Isn't he the nicest thing?! ^_^  
  
Yugi: (wakes up and sees Tea) AAAGH!!! THE HORROR!!!! GET IT AWAY!!!  
  
Tea: YUGI! (glomps onto him) You know what?! You and Yami are SUCH good friends! You two should give a speech about friendship to some people in this world! Oh, the world is round and full of life, just like friendship! Why, just the very thought of life makes me think of-  
  
Yugi: (twitches) Get...her....away....  
  
Yami: TEA! GET OFF OF HIM!! (rips Tea off of Yugi) And for your information, Yugi and I aren't just friends! We're lo- (claps a hand on his mouth)  
  
Yugi: (blinks innocently) What Yami?  
  
Yami: Um...we're aibous! Yeah, that's it! So, just stay away from him!  
  
Tea: Oh Yami, I know you didn't mean to rip me off of kaiwaii little Yugi! That would be ruining our friendship, wouldn't it? I LOVE YOU YAMI!!! (glomps Yami)  
  
Yugi: (eyes glow red) BACK OFF, BITCH!!! (punches Tea off)  
  
Bakura: Whoa...never thought I'd ever be saying this, but GO YUGI!!!  
  
Sora: She's just like Kairi...hold me, Riku...  
  
Riku: (snarls) Don't scare Sora like that! (turns into...Possessed!Riku) Come, evil one...  
  
Tea: (skips to Riku) Yeeeeees? Oh, you're so cute! (tries to glomp him)  
  
Possessed!Riku: (swats her away like a bug)  
  
Tea: AHHHHH! WHAT A PERFECT SIGN OF FRIENDSHIP!!! (crashes through the submarine wall)  
  
(water starts to fill the sub)  
  
Possessed!Riku: (uses his power to hold the sub) Bring this contraption up, mere mortal.  
  
Malik: OK! (brings it up in three seconds flat)  
  
(Possessed!Riku turns back into normal Riku. They all climb out of the sub. They look up...)  
  
Marik: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?! Whatever it is...it's shiiiiiiinyyyy..(reaches up)  
  
Ryou: It's an UFO! (jumps into Bakura's arms)  
  
Bakura: Don't worry! I sent for help awhile ago! These are my buddies!  
  
Ryou: ...(blink innocently)...wait a minute...(blink innocently)...you're an alien?  
  
Bakura: Nah, I just visited them for a bit. They're really cool, once you get to know them! I even got a name from them!  
  
Malik: Oh really? And what's your name?  
  
Bakura: (clears his throat) ...EEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!  
  
All: (blood shoots from their ears)  
  
Bakura: Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you to cover your ears.  
  
(So, the alien ship brings them to a random spot, which by coincidence, happens to be Italy)  
  
Sora: Whooooa...so this is what other worlds look like...  
  
Riku: Sweeeeeeet...  
  
(They wander around a bit)  
  
Ryou: Um...excuse me for asking, but...Where exactly are we going anyway?  
  
Bakura: We're TRYING to get back home, but the PHARAOH doesn't know the way back!  
  
Yami: Neither do you! (they keep walking until they're in front of a familiar hill, which is in front of a familiar cave. There they see a familiar group of people, lifeless) It's the Fellowship of the Ring! (he rushes to them) Do not worry! I shall avenge all of your deaths! (He starts to rush in the cave, when a voice stops him)  
  
Aragorn: Actually, we're not dead...  
  
Yami: Then...I shall avenge your mortally wounded selves!  
  
Legolas: Actually, we're getting better!  
  
Yami: Just....lay there while I go avenge all of you! (they all run in)  
  
Frodo: I guess we should just lay here then! (snuggles up to Legolas)  
  
Legolas: (gives a tiny sigh)  
  
Gandalf: (from far, far away) You'll all be sorry! That rabbit isn't gone yet!  
  
(They all ignore him)  
  
Yami: (runs into a wall) Helloooooo, what's this? (tries to read it) It's in some sort of language...I can't read it!  
  
Yugi: I think it's spanish...  
  
(Suddenly, a small girl pops up)  
  
Girl: Hola, I'm Dora! Did someone say Spanish?!  
  
Malik: AAAAUUUUUUUUGH!!! NOT DORAAAAA!!! MAKE HER GO AWAY, PLEAAASSEEEE!!! (he jumps in Marik's arms)  
  
Bakura: ...right. Listen, weak little girl, read this thing.  
  
Dora: Okies! (reads it) In order to find the ONE RING, you must go to the castle aaaarrrrgh...  
  
Ryou: Do you think the poor person died while writing it?  
  
Bakura: (whacks him upside the head) No, you dolt! How could they write out 'aaaarrrrgh...'?  
  
Yugi: Maybe there really is a Castle Aaaarrrrgh?  
  
Dora: I think there is! We can find it! Now, where's my map?  
  
Malik: (hisses at Dora) The evil...  
  
(Suddenly, a thing growls, and Dora disappears. They look behind them to see the rabid rabbit, who has grown ten times his normal size, eating Dora. After he disposes of the girl, he snarls at the group) ((AN: You know one of those Goosebumps books, the one with that freaky scary rabbit on the front? That's what this rabbit looks like right now...))  
  
All: ...RUN AWAY!!!  
  
(They all run, except Riku and Sora, who were smart enough to hide from the thing. Actually, they were...wait a sec!)  
  
Karalen: (pops up and stomps over to a rock) What do you boys think you're doing?!  
  
Riku: (stops making out with Sora for a second): Um...finding things for Kairi?  
  
Karalen: You're supposed to be HIDING, and trying to get the rest of the boys to hide as well!  
  
Sora: But...but...(does his Sora pout) I wanna make out with Riku...  
  
Karalen: Must resist...the pout...ARGH!!! The things I let you guys do...(disappears)  
  
(And so, the rabbit continued chasing the rest of the boys, while Sora and Riku STILL make out. After about two days, the rabbit finally dies from rabies, and the boys make it out of the cave, including Riku and Sora, who are STILL making out)  
  
Yami: Now then, we must go to the Castle Aaaarrrrgh in order to avenge the Fellowship of the Ring!  
  
Aragorn: (following Yami) Actually, we're just fine!  
  
Gimli: All we really need to do is go on to the Castle Aaaarrrrrgh in order to get that ring back! Poor Frodo is suffering without it!  
  
Frodo: (being carried by Legolas) My precious...come back to me...I need you...  
  
Bakura: All right! We'll head back home, while you guys go on and get your ONE RING back! Sounds like a plan?  
  
Yami: NO! I want to help them!  
  
Yugi: Yami, I want to go home...  
  
Yami: Ok! We'll let the Fellowship get their ONE RING, while we head home! Does that sound fine to you, Yugi?  
  
Yugi: Of course! (snuggles up to Yami)  
  
Yami: (blushes and hugs Yugi)  
  
Bakura: That was MY idea, pharaoh!  
  
Yami: (paying attention only to Yugi)  
  
Bakura: Stupid...pharaoh no baka...  
  
Marik: (is interested in Castle Aaaarrrrgh) Erm...I think home is this way! (points to where Castle Aaaarrrrgh is) We sould get home in no time!  
  
Malik: All right! We're going home!  
  
Marik: (laughs evilly)  
  
Hikaris: (blink innocently) What was that for?  
  
Marik: Er...nothing! ^_^  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
Karalen: So, will they reach Castle Aaaarrrrgh? And if they do, will they SURVIVE?! Find out next time, on Chapter 11: Castle Aaaarrrrgh!  
  
Inashu: (still laughing her ass off)  
  
Evil Ivan: (sighs) 


End file.
